My new favorite show, “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” is simply fabulous. I love it I love it I love it!
In this catty, witty and winsome hybrid of “Extreme Makeover” and “Trading Spaces,” the self-described “Fab 5,” a team of gay men with particular areas of expertise, give straight men a new look and a new outlook. Kind of like gay Henry Higginses to the guttersnipey He-Lies-Around-Does-Little. Or fairy godfathers to Cinderfellas. Bippity, boppity, boo, indeed.
Their weekly mission, which sometimes requires gay superpowers, is to transform a fashion- and culture-challenged straight man into something “presentable.”
The series airs at 10 p.m. Tuesdays on Bravo, followed by another episode at 11; both repeat at midnight and 1 a.m.
On tonight’s premiere episode, they tackle Butch, a hideous monster in overalls and ponytail. From the moment they enter his apartment, the Oscar Wilde-worthy quips begin flying, festive gay club music playing in the background. “Oh, my grossness!” one exclaims.
“OK, remember the Gap in 1985?” Carson Kressley asks as he begins pulling unacceptable clothes from Butch’s closet with salad tongs. “Were these alphabetized by ugly, ugly and uglier?”
The Fab 5 then take Butch to a tanning parlor for spray-on bronze, explaining: “This is Hollywood Tan. Right now he’s got Dollywood tan -- just the neck and arms.”
Meanwhile, Thom Filicia is working on Butch’s apartment, tossing things left and right. “It looks like were you to sit on this, in addition to crabs you’d get scoliosis,” he says of some manner of ottoman.
We catch up with Butch at a clothing store, where Carson is giving him fashion tips such as: “You never want to match your denims. You’ll look like some crazy farmer.”
Then Kyan Douglas squires Butch to a salon, where the boys convince Butch to chop off his ponytail and donate it to a charity for children with cancer. “There’s a little gay boy in Indonesia who would kill for your hair,” Carson tells him.
Finally, the Fab 5 order cards for artist Butch’s upcoming gallery opening, teach him how to work a room and stock his fridge with decent food. Ted Allen shows him how to make quick and impressive party snacks.
By the end, Butch has been transformed like the Cowardly Lion in “The Wizard of Oz” after his Emerald City makeover. Not only is he all spiffed up, he has a newfound confidence. Mission accomplished, mmmkay?!