Father’s Advice Knocked Cooney Out

Gerry Cooney, whose 1982 fight with Larry Holmes is the subject of HBO’s series of famous fights of the past on Wednesday, on his motivation:

“I grew up in a house where I learned five things from my old man: ‘You’re no good. You’re a failure. You’re not going to amount to anything. Don’t trust nobody, and don’t tell nobody your business.’

“When I lost to Larry Holmes, I felt all five of those things smacked me right across the face.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NBA record for steals in a season?

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Right on: In the spirit of spring training, Eric Immerman of ESPN.com tried out some ad slogans that probably have no chance of making opening-day marketing rosters. Some samples:

* Milwaukee Brewers: “A Drinking Town With a Baseball Problem.”

* New York Mets: “Big-Market Payroll, Small-Market Results.”

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Oh, no! Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times: “News flash: In the mother of all charging fouls, 12 Villanova basketball players have been suspended for illegally making long-distance calls with an athletic department employee’s calling card.

“Should we be surprised? The Wildcats rank last in the Big East in defending long-distance shots.”

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Quick read: Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Hey, sports fans, put that $29 book back in your pants. I’ve obtained publishing rights to the Reader’s Digest condensed version of David Wells’ new book. Here it is, in its entirety:

“ ‘I’m drunk, I’m fat, I’m stupid, I’m lazy, I’m disloyal. I’m gossipy, but I can throw hard, so I’m rich and famous. Burp.’ ”

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Dangerous sport: Ron Rapoport in the Chicago Sun-Times: “Injury of the week: Finding his cap too small while posing for Picture Day, Brewer first baseman Richie Sexson tried to stretch the bill by pulling on it and somehow hurt his neck. He missed an intrasquad game.”

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Drop it, Phil: Phil Mickelson, criticizing the media in GolfWorld magazine for not supporting him when he said Tiger Woods played with “inferior” equipment:

“I certainly should not have gone in that direction I went in ... and I certainly paid the penalty, tenfold.

“What kills me is that all you guys who printed it and found it easy to lay into me, none of you have admitted the accuracy of that statement.”

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Tough sledding: Wiley, Frank Sihler’s 10-year-old lead dog in the Iditarod sled dog race underway in Alaska, gets confused sometimes.

Sihler understands completely. Wiley is nearly blind.

“He’s completely blind in one eye and can see only shadows with the other,” Sihler said. “But he has special talents. He listens to me and he wants to be a leader.”

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Trivia answer: Alvin Robertson, San Antonio, 301, 1985-86.

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And finally: Bill Parcells, new coach of the Dallas Cowboys, has ordered that the heat be turned down in the training room so players won’t want to be in there, has outlawed playing dominoes in the locker room and has banned talking on the phone in the equipment room.