All the jokes fit to tell

If the bigwigs at the New York Times thought their headaches would start fading after Sunday’s massive apology for a four-year rampage of bogus stories and plagiarism by reporter Jayson Blair, they were in for a big surprise.

David Letterman, Jay Leno, Jon Stewart and other comics have spent the better part of this week transforming the paper from respected journalism icon to national punch line. A sampling:

* “A New York Times reporter who resigned after being accused of plagiarism may be paid as much as $1 million to tell his story in a new book. Not surprisingly, the book will be called ‘The Autobiography of Ben Franklin.’ ” (Conan O’Brien)

* “You know the old slogan of the New York Times, ‘All the news that’s fit to print’? They’ve changed it. The new slogan is ‘We make it up.’ ” (Letterman)

* “The former Iraqi minister of information has gotten a new job. He’s the new fact checker for the New York Times.” (Leno)

Comedy veterans and public relations gurus say they can’t remember a mainstream newspaper ever attracting this kind of mockery. One says the jokes could do more damage to the paper’s reputation than all the hand-wringing from journalism insiders. From an image standpoint, “it’s much better to be hated than to be a punch line,” says Eric Dezenhall, a Washington, D.C., damage-control consultant whose clients have included Arco Chemical Co. “I’m not as worried when Dan Rather attacks one of my clients as I am when Conan O’Brien does.”

Unfortunately for the New York Times, the jokes didn’t stop after one or two nights -- and the target quickly shifted from Blair to the paper itself. Letterman opened his Wednesday monologue with a jab at the Times. And Leno was still poking fun on Thursday, holding up a doctored copy of “The New York Once Upon a Times.” Even nightclub comics have begun riffing on the topic, says Laugh Factory owner Jamie Masada, who heard several references to the scandal this week. “It’s unusual for comics to be mocking a newspaper because nightclub and TV audiences don’t read newspapers,” says comedian Argus Hamilton. “If I asked a Comedy Store audience to tell me their favorite paper, it would be Zig-Zag.”

Or, as a correspondent for Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” put it: “Talking about a problem in print journalism is like talking about a jam in your eight-track player. Who cares? People get their news from the TV.”

But that didn’t stop “The Daily Show” host Stewart from launching into a lengthy salvo on Monday night’s fake newscast: “As the fake anchorman of a fake news show, I have a pretend obligation to inaccurately report news,” he began. “I’m proud to say our commitment to journalistic falsehood is catching on.... The scandal is being watched carefully, and probably happily, by other news organizations. Seth Mnookin, senior writer at Newsweek, says, ‘I think we’re all going to be shocked at the amount of fabrication and plagiarism that got in.’ ... Strong words from a journalist who has yet to spot the typo in his own name.”

All told, Stewart rattled off nine jokes about the Times, then conducted an interview with a fake dean of Columbia University’s journalism school about the scandal.

Why the sudden fascination with New York Times jokes?

Because “there is a tremendous euphoria in our culture about watching the mighty take a pratfall,” Dezenhall says. “There’s something in the American spirit that feels it’s an exercise of democracy to humble the mighty. And no weapon is more potent than ridicule.” The New York Times held itself out as “the gold standard of journalism, so the tiniest bit of evidence that contradicts that will be magnified a thousandfold,” he says.

Hamilton sees another factor at work. “The story also has a lot of tension in it because it raises the race issue.” (Blair is African American.)

In Monday’s satirical newscast, Stewart said: “Despite a reputation for sloppiness, [Blair] was repeatedly promoted, leading some critics to wonder if he was given special consideration due to his race, particularly in light of the paper’s recent slogan change from ‘All the news that’s fit to print’ to ‘We hired a black guy.’ ”

Stewart also said: “According to the paper’s in-house investigation ... Blair filed reports from what he said were 20 different cities, yet never submitted a single receipt for a plane ticket, rental car or motel room for reimbursement. Apparently, the Times figured they’d hit the diversity jackpot -- not only is he African American, he’s also a hobo.” Meanwhile, Letterman likened the paper to a supermarket tabloid. “The New York Times fired one of its reporters for turning in phony stories,” he announced Monday. “The newspaper became suspicious after his six-part series on UFOs and Elvis.”

“The Late Show” also devoted a top 10 list to the scandal. Among the signs that “something is wrong” at the paper: “Everyone in photographs looks like the publisher in a wig” and “Its journalistic integrity is questioned by Geraldo Rivera.”

After giving the paper a breather on Tuesday, Letterman returned to the topic on Wednesday. Noting that CBS had just announced its new fall show lineup, he said: “They’ve got a brand new half-hour situation comedy. It’s all about a guy working for the New York Times. It’s called ‘Makin’ It Up.’ ”

Later in the show, he aired a fake commercial for “The Matrix Reloaded” in which an announcer described the film as “the mind-blowing techno-thriller the New York Times is calling ‘a dazzling tour de force ... fantasy filmmaking at its best ... a strong Oscar contender.... OK, we didn’t see it.’ ”

When the fake ad ended, Letterman deadpanned: “The New York Times. They just make stuff up.”

Staffers at the paper are no doubt wincing at the jokes about their credibility, but there’s not much they can do besides ride it out, Dezenhall says. Although actor Hugh Grant, after his 1995 arrest with a hooker, could defuse his PR crisis with self-deprecating wit, the New York Times would be crazy to try such a tactic. “When you’re dealing with a perceived breach of trust, you can never joke about it,” Dezenhall says.

In the long run, say spin doctors, the paper will be fine.

But not right away. “Right now, the New York Times is radioactive,” Dezenhall says. Part of the problem is the rise of conservative pundits who are keeping the story alive and are “glad to take shots at what they see as a liberal newspaper,” says Peter Himler of Burson-Marsteller, a New York public relations firm.

Dezenhall adds: “Jay Leno and David Letterman aren’t necessarily conservatives, but they do have their pulse on heartland opinions. This is like making fun of France.”

If the Blair scandal had happened five or 10 years ago, Dezenhall and Himler say, there wouldn’t be as many jokes.

And so the humor continues. On Wednesday, Leno held up a doctored copy of the paper in which its motto, “All the news that’s fit to print,” had been replaced with “Hey, you gotta fill the paper with somethin’!’ ”