Fellow Arriving Late for His Date Offered Up a Real Dog of an Excuse

Just when you think you’ve heard every excuse ... Francine Mora of Venice was in a Manhattan Beach bar over the weekend when a man walked in and told his companion: “Sorry I was late. I was at a dog wedding.”

Diet special? Lanny A. of Rosemead pointed out that one restaurant’s “cuopon” must be intended for diners who want meals one-tenth of the usual size (see accompanying).

*

Unclear on the concept: A set of dueling directions in San Marino mystified Will Owen of Pasadena (see photo).

*

Department of Redundancy Dept.: Robert Sharp noted that the only type of aviary is one for our feathered friends (see accompanying).

*

From the birds to the bees: Tom Fox of Newport Beach found a warning that could be a clever tactic to keep undesirables away (see photo).

I was reminded of a Hollywood resident who posted a sign in his front yard, warning dog owners that his plants had been sprayed with “dioxinleucomaine.”

The warning seemed to be effective, even though he had made the word up.

*

If it’s not one thing ... : Jay Beeler, publisher of the Beachcomber in Long Beach, writes: “Trying to lose weight can get you killed. That’s the lesson I learned this past week by starting a new regimen of walking the two miles between my home and office.... Two days in a row, students headed for Long Beach State raced through the already red left-turn signal into my ‘go’ crosswalk -- with me in it.”

*

A different kind of fly-fishing: The police log of the Saddleback Valley News said, “A subject threw a fishing pole at another person.” Didn’t hook him, luckily.

*

We’re honored: A British TV company, which is preparing a show on stupid criminal tricks, contacted me to say it’s considering a couple that have appeared in this column, including this golden oldie: A liquor store clerk in the San Fernando Valley handed over the contents of his cash register to an armed robber. But when the latter also demanded some booze, the clerk demurred, saying the robber appeared to be a minor. The clerk could lose his license, he explained.

The gunman then showed his ID. The clerk later gave the information to the cops, who tracked down the robber.

*

miscelLAny: In our continuing series of storied cross-streets, Nora Knudsen of Laguna Beach cites the Lake Forest intersection of Dylan Avenue and Jagger Street.

*

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.