Chicago 20, San Diego 7: Flutie almost...

Chicago 20, San Diego 7: Flutie almost rallies Chargers but comes up a little short.

Houston 14, Carolina 10: Tony Banks played an entire game without a turnover! Seriously. That’s not a joke.

Detroit 23, Oakland 13: Al Davis sues Charles Woodson, says tirades against coach are a Davis copyright.

New Orleans 17, T.B. 14: Haslett says he’d bet his life on Carney. Coach, there’s a Dr. Kevorkian to see you.

Balt. 24, Jack. 17: Del Rio says top goal was to “stop [Jamal] Lewis.” Uh, isn’t winning usually the top goal?

Indianapolis 23, Miami 17: The Marlins should demand that the Dolphins leave their stadium immediately.

N.Y. Giants 31, N.Y. Jets 28 (OT): Penalty kicks deciding soccer matches are bad, but OT field goals are good?

Ari. 17, Cin. 14: Asking Jon Kitna to lead a comeback is like when Andy would let Barney be sheriff for a day.

Seattle 23, Pittsburgh 16: Unemployment office can start preparing that Bill Cowher file.

Phila. 23, Atlanta 16: Calm down, Eagle fans, you barely beat a bad Falcon team. And you’re excited about that?

Dallas 21, Wash. 14: A confused Spurrier wants to wait and see how Redskins do in today’s BCS standings.

San Francisco 30, St. Louis 10: Bulger left to carry burden while Kurt Warner mans a picket line at Vons.

Green Bay 30, Minn. 27: Favre is 3-9 inside the Metrodome. A good Arena League team wouldn’t sign the guy.

New England at Denver, tonight, 6, Ch. 7: Maybe we’ll get lucky and John Madden’s bus will go on strike too.

Open: Buffalo, Kansas City, Tennessee, Cleveland.

-- Houston Mitchell