Cheating for the Cooking Challenged

“How glorious is the sight of a whole cooked salmon, lying luxuriously on the buffet table,” Julia Child swoons in “The French Chef Cookbook.” “And there is no trick at all to cooking a 10-pound fish.” Right. As long as you’ve got one of those 2-foot-long copper fish poachers, an immersible thermometer so that the water stays at 185 degrees, two hours to cook it, several hours to chill it--and you don’t mind your house smelling like the Redondo Beach Pier. Sure. No trick at all. Or you could take your mother’s heirloom platter down to Santa Monica Seafood and let them do the whole thing for you, and you tell your guests a little white lie: “I spent all day on this.” Your choice. But with so many purveyors of home-cooked meals around town willing and able to help you “cheat” just a little, why waste the day dicing onions? Some options:

SANTA MONICA SEAFOOD CO.

Chef/consultant Kelly G. Mullarney’s poached salmon--delicately prepared in a rich court bouillon with lemon juice, white wine, garlic, fresh fennel and dill--will make you look like a domestic god or goddess. For a main course for 8 to 10 people, figure on an 8-pound salmon at $14.95 per pound. Comes with a tangy yogurt dill sauce. 1205 Colorado Ave., Santa Monica; (310) 393-5244. With locations in Orange and Costa Mesa.

THE IVY

You wouldn’t believe how many stars claim The Ivy’s meatloaf as their own. Made of freshly ground sirloin, mustard, shallots and parsley, and topped with basil, oregano and slices of fresh tomatoes from the restaurant’s own gardens, this isn’t your mama’s meatloaf. But you can pretend it is. Served with mashed potatoes with leeks, home-baked breads and a choice of steamed broccoli or Brussels sprouts. $22.75 per person. Or get the spicy corn chowder, with garden corn cut off the cob; $12.75 for 12 ounces. 113 N. Robertson Blvd., Los Angeles; (310) 274-8303.

JOAN’S ON THIRD

You could make your own mac and cheese, but not the way gourmet caterer Joan McNamara does. Not with four different cheeses--Vermont cheddar, Old Amsterdam Gouda, Gruyere and cream cheese--and then baked, sans roux, so that it has the consistency of lasagna. A tray large enough to serve 8 to 10 people is $45. And then there are her fresh soups, such as butternut squash, sweetened with pears and topped with fried sage leaves; $10.50 a quart. Don’t forget the cupcakes, made from scratch, for dessert--chocolate or vanilla, with butter cream frosting, $2 each, or a box of 9 mini-cupcakes for $12. 8350 W. 3rd St., Los Angeles; (323) 655-2285.

ZOV’S BISTRO

The desserts are stupendous but nobody is really going to believe you whipped up that flourless chocolate cake, with its waves of undulating chocolate, or the eye-popping caramel pecan tart. The tenderloin of beef, however, is another matter. Order it with the garlic puree and thyme sauce or a green peppercorn and Pommery mustard sauce ($125). Accompanied by Zov’s gratin potatoes ($65) and a grilled veggie platter of asparagus, mushrooms, colorful peppers and root vegetables ($75), you’ve got a feast Julia herself would be proud to serve. Portions feed 10 to 12 people. 17440 E. 17th St., Tustin; (714) 838-8855