Just Who Are These People Who Support Schwarzenegger?

I came down here on a mission. Not from God, not from my bosses, but from Tony the Barber.

Before hitting the road, I stopped by Tony’s in Silver Lake for a trim, and Tony was even more worked up than usual.

“It’s offensive,” he said of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s surge in the recall campaign.

A sour grapes Democrat?

No. Tony is a proud Republican, and a photo of Ronald Reagan graces the wall of his shop. But he can’t believe Californians will elect the Terminator as governor, as the polls suggest we’re about to do. And he wanted me to find out why anybody in their right mind would vote for Arnold.

“He doesn’t know anything,” snarled Tony, a native of Mexico who likes Republican state Sen. Tom McClintock. “This is like a toy to Arnold, to be governor.”

Maybe so, but the polls have made Schwarzenegger so cocksure that he practically declared himself the winner Wednesday. He was so confident that he took a huge gamble and tackled a few issues, writing down everything he knew in a 10-point plan.

It filled one page.

“We are ready to take office,” he said. “We are ready to take action. We are ready to return California to the people.”

Arnie Steinberg, a Republican strategist, blames it on us bumbling boobs in the media. We weren’t tough enough on Arnold, said Steinberg, who attended a Hollywood debate that Schwarzenegger skipped because he was across the street at CNN, doing “Larry King Live.”

“In the old days,” Steinberg said, “reporters would have run across the street” and demanded that Schwarzenegger quit ducking issues, and start explaining his “Animal House” conduct and broken campaign vows.

Hey, we did what we could, and it’s not as if all those shortcomings hadn’t been pointed out in this space and elsewhere.

But so far, somewhere around 40% of likely voters don’t care.

Who are these people?

As a California native who loves this state, I’m not sure I even want to know the answer.

As far as I can tell, you’ve got your informed voter who wants to send a message.

You’ve got your I’ll-back-any-Republican-who-can-win voter, even if he’s married to a Kennedy and frequently acts like one.

You’ve got your I-saw-him-in-”Terminator”-and-he-looked-real-cool voter.

Is it the fake butter in the movie popcorn? Arnold supporters I’ve already talked to are voting out of anger, not faith or reason.

Gray Davis is the hated, money-grubbing pol who symbolizes everything that’s wrong with politics. Not only did he bungle the budget and energy crises, but he tripled vehicle license fees and he’s handing out driver’s licenses to illegal immigrants.

Arnold can fit everything he knows about fixing California on a single sheet of paper, but why should such a big star have to sweat the details. His ever-expanding universe includes the conquest of women, muscle men and box office records. There’s only one thing left.

So today in San Diego begins the four-day Arnold Express, which will end on election eve in Sacramento.

Arnold will be riding in the lead bus, which will be called “Running Man.” His high-roller supporters will be on Bus No. 2, “Total Recall.” (Get it? The buses have movie names).

The press will ride four buses, the first three of which will be named for “Predator.” The fourth bus will be called “True Lies.” Then there’s a bus of true believers called “Dumb and Dumber.”

And then I’ll bring up the rear in my Sentra.

I’m calling it “S. Lo the Barbarian.”