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A Course This Long Is Outer This World

Times Staff Writer

A recent Morning Briefing item referred to a “cross-country golf” team competition in North Carolina that included a par-15, 2,325-yard hole.

That’s nothing. Andre Tolme of Laconia, N.H., is playing an 18-hole, 1,320-mile course across Mongolia.

He’s taking a winter break, having completed the front nine in 46 days. He took 5,854 shots and lost 352 balls.

Tolme writes in his Internet diary about “a layer of filth on my legs thicker than Tammy Faye’s makeup.” He dreams of filet mignon and zinfandel and worries that he has spent too much time during the last two months talking to himself.

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Trivia time: What is the record number of golf holes played in 12 hours?

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Minor flaw: Most golfers can identify with what Sam Snead once said: “You’ve got just one problem. You stand too close to the ball -- after you’ve hit it.”

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Built-in advantage: Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune reports that Fox Sports Net’s Leeann Tweeden, who has modeled for Playboy and Hooter’s, told Men’s Journal how she gets interviews with athletes who otherwise might turn down sportswriters: “Let’s face it: Would you rather talk to me or some overweight dude with cheese-puff stains on his T-shirt?”

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Bad hands people: From David Letterman: “Boy, it’s a great time to be in New York City. Isn’t it wonderful to be here in autumn? It’s just fantastic. You can sure tell it’s autumn. Earlier today, I saw a Jets’ receiver drop a pumpkin.”

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Name game: Greg Cote in the Miami Herald: “If baseball slugger Cliff Floyd married the pop singer Pink, would she tour as Pink Floyd?”

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Beer connoisseur: From reader Dick Van Kirk: “Your item about Dizzy Dean reminded me of my childhood, when I would listen to Diz and Buddy Blattner. Falstaff beer was their sponsor. One hot August day, they got on the subject of beer and Diz said, ‘There’s only two good kinds of beer, Falstaff and root beer.’ ”

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Not so fantastic: The New York Post reported Knick season-ticket sales down 2,000. Last year, there were 2,100 cancellations but the team kept its base of 14,100 season-ticket holders because there was a long waiting list. That was not the case this year.

Meanwhile in San Francisco, Chronicle reader Jim Greene was quoted in Tim FitzGerald’s “Open Season” column as saying, “The Warriors announced that tickets for regular-season home games go on sale Saturday at 8:30 a.m. at the Oakland Arena. They also announced that the ticket office will remain open until 9:30 a.m. if necessary.”

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Trivia answer: Brennan Robertson played 476 holes in 12 hours in Sarasota, Fla., in 2000, according to the “Guinness Book of World Records.” Yes, Robertson used a cart.

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And finally: Tom Arnold of Fox Sports Net’s “Best Damn Sports Show Period” said, “I’ve lost 22 pounds. I’ll tell you why. One day I looked down and realized I had enough cleavage to be a sideline reporter on ‘Monday Night Football.’ ”

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Larry Stewart can be reached at larry.stewart@latimes.com.


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