That Sound You Hear Is Another Hallowed Tradition Going Down the Drain

Southern California may be the entertainment capital of the world, but it’s suffering from a shortage of vocalists in one category: toilet-sound impersonations.

That’s the sad reason that the Fluidmaster Flush-Off has been dumped this year.

“There just weren’t very many qualified contenders,” explained Gretchen Kurz, a spokeswoman for Fluidmaster, the San Juan Capistrano-based seller of toilet-repair kits.

The contest, with a first prize of $1,000, called for performers to mimic the sound of an emptying toilet. To qualify for the competition, entrants first were asked to audition by phone

“We had hoped to get some college drama students,” said Kurz, “but they’re back in class.”

Instead, many of the callers were hoaxers who, rather than imitate the sound, would merely hold their phone up to a flushing toilet. No pride of craftsmanship.

Memorable flushes past: I have so many wonderful memories of the Flush-Off, and I know you’d love to hear at least one of them. OK. There was the guy who augmented his recital by affixing a faucet to his head and, when he turned it on, a stream of water squirted out. Afterward, he told the judges: “Don’t forget to wash your hands.”

Talk about hot property! Don’t you just hate it when real estate agents brag about the property they’ve sold ... and that you can’t have? Lorraine Smith of Ontario -- the city, not the province -- found the latest example (see accompanying).

You think potholes are a problem? While vacationing in the Seattle area, Tim and Carolyn Klein of La Habra chanced upon an eerie traffic sign (see photo).

While a lot of drivers seem to think their vehicles are jets these days, this warning is actually in a housing development where airplane owners have hangars instead of garages.

Unclear on the concept: I’ve recently scratched out columns mentioning designer Amy Inouye’s Chicken Boy, a half-human, half-fowl fiberglass statue, and Tommy Kendall’s clucking Chicken Car, whose accessories include a giant front-seat rooster.

Jack Marcus of Juan Pollo is envious of those folks. The Inland Empire chicken chain has an advertise-on-wheels campaign but, as Marcus mourns, “we can’t find any chicken mascots for our vehicles.” So the company has been using some cartoon substitutes (see photo).

No doubt more than one passerby has seen a Pollo car and wondered, “Eh, what’s up, Juan?”

miscelLAny: Columnist Barry Blitzer of the Palisadian-Post was amused by a crematory’s parody of Madison Avenue sloganeering (see photo) but added: “As my late father-in-law, Bruno, used to say, ‘Wait for the two-for-one sale and take a friend!’ ”

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.