Even for Belgium, This Seems a Little Low

Belgium’s Kim Clijsters wrested the No. 1 women’s tennis ranking back from countrywoman Justine Henin-Hardenne this week, but you can bet Clijsters would rather have come out on top of two matches she lost to Henin-Hardenne this year, finals at the U.S. Open and the French Open.

Clijsters’ father, Leo, recently suggested that Henin-Hardenne’s sudden physical development was suspect, and Henin-Hardenne vigorously denied the insinuations of doping.

Henin-Hardenne’s coach, Carlos Rodriquez, told the Belgian press corps he believed there was a concerted effort to create a rivalry.

“In Belgium, we want absolutely to create a fight between the two girls,” he said.

Well, sure.

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Trivia time: How many consecutive seasons was Wayne Gretzky the most valuable player of the NHL?

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Mmmm good: Jim Hager, 47, gobbled his way into “The Guinness Book of World Records” this month when he ate 115 M&Ms; in three minutes.

Before you say, “I could do that,” consider: Contestants had to use wooden chopsticks and each M&M; had to be carried -- one at a time -- to the mouth.

Hager bettered the record of England’s Kathryn Ratcliffe, who had consumed 112 Smarties.

He won 25 pounds of M&Ms;, courtesy of an Oakland candy store that sponsored the contest.

“His kids were very happy,” store owner Wendy Winter said.

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Look away: Cheerleaders in the Berwick (Pa.) Area School District have been barred from wearing their uniforms to class. Supt. David Force said the cheerleader skirts were much shorter than is allowed by the district’s dress code.

Decades of tradition aside, school board member Wayne Strausser said he thought the uniforms were conservative compared with what some high school girls are wearing.

“When I see some young ladies,” he said, “I have to turn my head or I might be accused of groping.”

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Cub wannabes: Milwaukee Brewer President Ulice Payne predicted last week that his team -- which has had 11 consecutive losing seasons -- would finally break the .500 mark next year.

“I believe in our guys, and they believe in themselves,” he told a small gathering of fans at Miller Park.

He said the Brewers might be the next Chicago Cubs, who were divisional champs this year after losing 95 games in 2002.

Don’t count the Baltimore Sun’s Peter Schmuck among those believers.

“Small-market teams can thrive in Wisconsin,” he wrote, “but only if Brett Favre is running the offense.”

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Trivia answer: Eight.

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And finally: John McGrath, of the Tacoma News-Tribune, on speculation the Seattle Mariners would try to sign Ken Griffey Jr.:

“On the bright side, Griffey’s recent power numbers with the Reds -- 40 home runs, 114 RBIs -- are typical of his All-Star seasons with the early ‘90s Mariners.

“On the not-so-bright side, it’s taken Griffey three years to produce 40 homers and 114 RBIs.”