Agassi Is Rarely at a Loss for Words

Adieu, Andre?

Tennis star Andre Agassi will be 34 later this month, but he’s already getting to the stage where he is asked about retirement -- in some polite form or another -- during almost every news conference after a tournament loss.

It happened again Tuesday in Miami.

Though he was annoyed, Agassi had enough spunk to knock down one query about whether the defeat had him changing his thought process about his future.

“No, those questions do, though,” Agassi said.

More Andre: You could fill several Morning Briefings with Agassi quotes from over the years. Here is a quick offering of some of his more memorable observations:

“I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent’s hair,” he said.

Then there was the time the now-retired Yevgeny Kafelnikov of Russia suggested that tennis players were underpaid in relation to pro golfers.

“My feelings are that he should take his prize money when he is done here and go buy some perspective,” Agassi said of Kafelnikov.

Trivia time: What Santa Anita Derby winner had the highest payoff, and what winner had the lowest?

Dreaming: Tim Kawakami of the San Jose Mercury News had his own idea for the culmination of ESPN’s “Dream Job” derby: “I have not watched one second of this show, though if a person wants to sign a contract that means living in Bristol, Conn., and spending time with Chris Berman for a whole year, that’s their choice.

“But here’s my dream: The contest winner replaces the high-profile NBA analyst I’ve nicknamed Screamin’ A. Smith.”

No Magic Potion: Jonathan Feigen of the Houston Chronicle, addressing the Orlando Magic: “Your team is by far the worst in the NBA. Your star player has said he has trouble caring. You fired your coach and demoted the general manager. Naturally, it’s time to raise prices.”

The Magic plans to hike ticket prices $2.50 next season, making the average price $47.40.

Roman holiday: Jeff Gordon of the St. Louis Post Dispatch, wondering about the new job of a certain basketball coach: “Do the fraternities at Southern Mississippi hold toga parties? And if so, has Larry Eustachy been invited to one yet?”

Writer’s block: Serena and Venus Williams are authors.

They signed a deal to publish a book with DK, the worldwide family reference publisher. The book “How To Play Tennis” is to come out this summer.

No word on whether their dad, Richard, has started a campaign to win them the Nobel Prize.

Looking back: On this day in 1972, the first collective players’ strike in major league baseball history began. It lasted 12 days and canceled 86 games.

Trivia answer: Destroyer, $89.50 in 1974, and Your Host, $2.40 in 1950.

And finally: John Salley of the “Best Damn Sports Show Period,” on Keyshawn Johnson’s going to the Dallas Cowboys: “Let me tell you why he can’t be a distraction in Dallas. They had Michael Irvin.”

Compiled by Lisa Dillman