Even if You’re Just Stepping Out for a Moment, It’s Best to Take the Keys

My colleague Dave Barton heard a traffic report on KNX-AM (1070) radio about a CHP officer who had stopped on the San Bernardino Freeway to clear debris from lanes -- and locked himself out of his car.

Mysterious: Murray Krieger of West L.A. spotted what sounded like a sale for fanatical devotees of those shadowy groups led by charismatic characters (see accompanying).

Such a deal: The most inexpensive tax preparer in Southern California may have been spotted by Ken Kopec of Yucaipa (see photo). Of course, the sign does say 99 cents PLUS, leaving him a lot of leeway. (Always read the big print.)

Down-to-earth outfit: Then there was the bride who apparently wanted to get to work on some home improvements (see accompanying). Still, Kathy Keesler of Costa Mesa couldn’t help wondering “if the bride got hammered at the reception.”

Food for thought: Why would a restaurant brag about a noisy patio, wonders Sylvia Sullivan of Thousand Oaks (see accompanying).

Flowing right along: Movie producer Robert Simonds has been appointed to the Metropolitan Water District’s board of directors.

His qualifications? Well, he did produce “The Waterboy,” with Adam Sandler.

The boss did what? I mentioned the L.A. Downtown News’ collection of horror stories about employers’ demands on workers. That item brought a note here from a secretary who related this tale: “My boss’ wife (fluent in French) flew from L.A. to Paris. The airline lost her luggage and she called him to have me find it. I spent many hours calling thousands of miles away and trying to communicate with people who didn’t speak English while she was in Paris, helpless.

“Sheesh!”

Name Game: MaryAnn Lewis notes that the manager of Fullerton Municipal Airport is Rod Propst.

Mondegreen of the Day (medical section): On the subject of misinterpreting remarks, a reader wrote about copy editing a secretary’s transcription of a lecture and finding a passage about “hunting in Korea.” It was supposed to be the medical condition, “Huntington’s chorea.”

Mondegreen of the Day (musical section): “When we were first learning the Alphabet Song (‘A-B-C-D,’ etc.) in kindergarten,” wrote Keith Dixon, “I must have been puzzled by the strange vegetable in the middle. My mother told how I burst into the kitchen when I came home and eagerly explained that I had just discovered the true meaning of the elemeno pea.”

miscelLAny: The “Crimewatch” section of UCLA’s Daily Bruin reported that a cashier at the School of Dentistry was given a counterfeit $10 bill. Payment for a false tooth?

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATimes, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.