Canadien Fans Are Skating on Thin Ice

Can you really blame puck lovers north of the border for turning up their noses at the state of the game, especially when their flagship franchise is getting schooled by a team from ... Florida?

Tampa Tribune columnist Martin Fennelly took much delight in the Tampa Bay Lightning’s dominance of the Montreal Canadiens in the Eastern Conference semifinal series’ first two games.

“Quebec is queasy,” Fennelly wrote, even before Tampa Bay took a 3-0 series lead Tuesday. “Its pride and joy is having its Canadian goose cooked by those beach-blanket infidels with a weather forecast for an emblem.

“The Montreal Canadiens have won 391 Stanley Cup playoff games. The Lightning is at 13.”

Trivia time: When did the Lightning join the NHL and when did it first reach the playoffs?

He’ll second that: Reader John Quinlen likes the idea of Nevada Las Vegas naming the Rebels’ home floor after former coach Jerry Tarkanian but sees morbid possibilities.

Wrote Quinlen, “Yes, let’s bring back the old winning days! I went to a home game this year and was dismayed to see the players driving normal college-student cars. If they aren’t driving new cars anymore, then they’re also probably not using the Jacuzzi and steam rooms at Caesars Palace. Of course, as soon as we start recruiting good players, UCLA will just come in and steal them with promises of new SUVs and handicapped-parking spaces.”

No respect: Former boxing manager Rock Newman does not want to see George Foreman un-retire:

“His last fight, he really looked like the tired old fat man. And if he were to come back now, I think he would look like a tired old fat granddaddy and there’s no place for that in boxing.”

Oh yeah, the sweet science has such high standards.

Looking back: On this date in 1966, the Lakers fell to the Boston Celtics, 95-93, in Game 7 of the NBA Finals at Boston Garden, giving the Celtics and cigar-chomping Coach Red Auerbach their eighth straight title.

Crying in baseball? You knew it wouldn’t take long for the tabloids to jump on the $183-million Yankees after they’d lost six of seven to the Boston Red Sox. The Daily News’ back cover Tuesday read “Bawl Game” and featured a caricature of an open-mouthed George Steinbrenner weeping dollar-sign tears.

Looking back II: On this date in 1988, the Baltimore Orioles set an American League record by losing their 21st straight game, falling to the Minnesota Twins, 4-2.

Trivia answer: The Lightning joined the NHL as an expansion team for the 1992-93 season and first qualified for the playoffs in the 1995-96 season.

And finally: Jim Armstrong was anything but impressed with the fight between Vitali Klitschko and Corrie Sanders.

“No offense, but these two should have been fighting over a parking space outside Wal-Mart,” Armstrong wrote in his AOL Sports column. “ ... I’d rather watch Carrot Top and Don King try to tear out each other’s hair.”