Where There’s Military Sacrifice, a Church Helps

For two days this week, Fallbrook Presbyterian Church near Camp Pendleton became a busy Christmas shopping center for military families, many with one parent stationed in Iraq.

The pain of such separation is more pronounced at Christmas, they say, especially in a community with large numbers of residents in the military or related to service personnel. To help ease those feelings, San Diego area businesses, churches and individuals donated tens of thousands of dollars to enable 1,000 military families to pick out Christmas gifts for their children without spending a penny.

Fallbrook Presbyterian, on tranquil grounds with palm trees and well-tended shrubbery, was among five churches in San Diego County where families went “shopping” Tuesday and Wednesday for bicycles and scooters, stuffed animals, Barbie dolls, clothes, shoes and more.

Christmas during wartime means special stresses and special treatment for children and adults at Fallbrook Presbyterian.

On Christmas Eve, members of the church who are now in Iraq will be prayed for by name during services at 5 and 8 p.m.

On Christmas Day, about 12 church families will be taking home, for Christmas dinner, soldiers who are single or spouses whose loved ones are in Iraq, said Sherry McFarland, church administrator.

Margaret Daniel, a staffer who works with youths at the church and has a son in the Army, says she chokes up, especially at this time of the year, when she reads obituaries about young people and sees families who are separated.

“Freedom isn’t free,” she said. “What an amazing sacrifice their families give.”

But reaching out to military families is not just a Christmas project, said Pastor Kirk Bottomly.

“A lot of those young families live in Fallbrook in low-income housing,” he said. “Sometimes, because their husbands are deployed, you have a lot of very young women with babies who are isolated. They’re isolated from their families. They don’t have a social support structure around them.”

To help provide that structure, the church hooks them up with older women who teach them how to sew, crochet and knit.

Nicole Herrmann, whose husband, James, is a Marine corporal stationed at Pendleton, is not a member of the church but she wouldn’t think of missing her biweekly visits with that “grandma’s group.” The group is like her extended family, she said.

The church also holds baby-sitting days to enable military couples to go out on a date once a month, and a weekly Bible class that also provides baby-sitting as well as a ride service.

Last month, Anne Moreland Mayer, a member of the church whose husband, John, a lieutenant colonel and the commanding officer of the 1st Battalion, 4th Marines in Najaf, spearheaded a clothing drive for Iraqi children.

Mayer, herself a former Marine captain, said many people asked her what they could do for the Marines over Christmas. Her husband told her his battalion wanted to give clothing to the children in Najaf who wore rags and walked barefoot.

The result was 3,000 pounds of quality clothes and shoes -- half of them collected from Fallbrook Presbyterian -- and the rest from families of her husband’s 1st Battalion co-workers and friends.

Mayer said Operation Interdependence, a nonprofit group that helps deployed military members and their families, did the shipping and was willing to forgive $3,000 in costs, but church members and others raised money for that too.

“The Iraqi people are so grateful for the freedom and what the Marines have done,” she said. “The Marines are the good guys because they gave them back their city, their country. That doesn’t get reported.”

Bottomly said his church doesn’t get into politics.

“Whether you are strongly for or against the war is not what this is all about,” he said. “It’s about caring for the people that God has brought into our community and into our church family.”

All military personnel about to be deployed are called down front and church leaders lay hands on them, he said.

“We pray from Psalm 91, which is all about God’s protection,” Bottomly said. Verses 9 and 10 state: “If you make the Most High your dwelling -- even the Lord, who is my refuge -- then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.”

The biggest seasonal activity is the toy giveaway.

Families began arriving at 8 a.m. Tuesday, some with toddlers in tow.

“It’s going to be sad without him,” said Melissa Thorpe, 25, opening her cellphone cover to show the photo of her husband, Marine Sgt. Samuel Thorpe, 28, of the 2nd Battalion, 5th Marines, who is doing his second stint in Iraq.

She had come with her younger child, Joshua, 2, while the older one, Nicole, 5, was at school on the base. Because of such gifts, Nicole and Joshua will have a “good Christmas,” she said.

Thorpe chose a bicycle, clothes and an assortment of toys for her children.

Mary Oldham, whose husband, Marine Sgt. Steven Oldham, is back at Pendleton after serving twice in Iraq, said she couldn’t be happier with her Christmas shopping.

“I found everything my kids asked for,” she said with a big smile, as she walked out of the chapel with an armload of boxes. “This is going to be a good Christmas for them. This has been a big blessing.” The youngsters will be getting a skateboard, scooter, a glow-in-the-dark yo-yo, a masquerade Barbie and a camera.

This year, under Military Outreach Ministries -- run by the Presbytery of San Diego, San Diego Armed Services YMCA and Operation Homefront, a support organization for military families -- each child received six items. Each family also got a $20 grocery certificate, a $15 phone card, a game and a CD.

Families also got plenty of gift-wrapping paper. Giving the families a chance to pick and wrap their own gifts was an important consideration, said the Rev. Andrew M. Smith, executive presbyter of the Presbytery of San Diego, the administrative agency for 37 Presbyterian churches, which began the Military Outreach ministry in 1968.

“It’s not just material gifts [that are important], but instilling dignity into the lives of families in the military,” he said.

Maj. Riccoh Player, spokesman for Camp Pendleton, said the support for the military families in the 50-mile radius of the base is “tremendous.”

“You cannot put a dollar value on the sincere generosity of the community -- from adopt-a-family to donations of food, toys, money and clothing,” he said. “Those things go a long way during these challenging times for the families.”