It’s Tough to Believe They Went for the Fake

Be careful what you wish for, Oklahoma football Coach Bob Stoops was telling ESPN on Friday during the middle of a made-for-TV-and-EA-Sports-and-ESPN mock “Bowl Championship Series Playoff” that ate up 30 minutes of East Coast evening air time.

“The cries for a BCS playoff have been heard!” anchor Dana Jacobson announced by way of lead-in teaser. “It’s happened, and we have highlights! ‘SportsCenter’ crowns the real No. 1, coming up!”

An eight-team BCS playoff?

One that included Auburn and Cal and Utah?

Highlights?

Cincinnati Bengal running back Rudi Johnson, formerly of Auburn, was so discombobulated by the news that he went one for six in his “Final Exam” sports trivia quiz that ate up more valuable time on “Sports- Center.” Among Johnson’s misses: How many Auburn running backs have been taken as the top overall pick in the NFL draft?

Johnson, ex-Auburn running back, guessed zero.

Bo Jackson and Tucker Frederickson could have told him the answer was two.

Of course, no one is really thinking clearly when it comes to college football these days. Except, perhaps, for EA Sports, the video-game manufacturer that cleverly finagled half an hour of free advertising by conspiring with ESPN to stage a computerized eight-game playoff and get the virtual highlights aired on ESPN, which somehow coaxed Stoops and Utah Coach Urban Meyer to play along and agree to be interviewed about their pretend matchup in the fake semifinals.

(This was one more embarrassment for Notre Dame. Meyer turns down the most storied program in the history of college football, but says yes to an appearance on a phony playoff highlight show?)

Just like real life, Stoops and Meyer refused to say anything negative about each other’s teams for the record.

Just like real life, Auburn fell short of the title game, getting bounced in the first round by a Utah team evidently well liked by any and all computer programs.

Just like real life, USC defeated Virginia Tech, in a computerized quarterfinal, before getting outplayed at home by Cal, this time in the video semifinals.

Finally, there was something new: Cal beat the Trojans in this one, 34-26, rallying for 13 points in the last six minutes.

That set up a championship final between Cal and Oklahoma, with Kirk Herbstreit predicting a Sooner victory and the computer chips falling in line, producing a 35-21 Oklahoma triumph.

Asked what college football needs to do to correct a system that annually goes haywire, Stoops diplomatically replied, “I don’t know that we need to do anything, in reality. There’s never going to be a perfect system, outside of a playoff. You know, there’s nothing wrong with debate. And in the end, be careful what you wish for. You don’t want everybody not paying such close attention to the end of the season and just waiting for the playoffs to come.”

Stoops said he “used to be a strong playoff proponent,” but no longer. “I just believe, you watch college basketball and there isn’t near as much interest in the regular season,” he said. “Everybody can’t want for March Madness and the playoffs, the tournament.

“So, to me, we’d be in danger of really devaluing a great season [during which] every game’s a playoff to us. And to devalue the regular season and just push for a playoff would be dangerous.”

Spoken just like a coach who has placed his team in the BCS championship game three times in the last five years.

Available for viewing this weekend:

TODAY

* Western Michigan at USC

(FSN West, noon)

Shaquille O’Neal, Karl Malone, Troy Percival, Troy Glaus, Paul Lo Duca, Adrian Beltre, (maybe) Shawn Green -- “Escape From L.A.” has been a numbingly popular game among the big-name talent this year. Finally, someone has decided to reverse the trend, Rick Majerus, veteran at swimming against the current, agreeing to come to Los Angeles while everybody else is leaving.

Good for Los Angeles. Good for USC. And if you believe Majerus is going to sit idly by and just “observe” this season, you also believe Jeff Kent and Javier Vazquez are going to lead the Dodgers to the National League pennant.

* Michigan at UCLA

(Channel 2, 2 p.m.)

It bears mentioning this week: UCLA still exists, and it still plays men’s basketball. CBS sends its cameras to Westwood, just to make sure.

* Pittsburgh Steelers at New York Giants (Channel 2, 10:30 a.m.)

Big Brother is watching this one. That’s right, Peyton Manning, killing time before his assault on Dan Marino’s touchdown-pass record, will watch little brother Eli continue his assault on the NFL win column. Eli is 0-4, leaning on 0-5, but Peyton, ever protective, reminds that he also began his NFL career 0-4. Surely, that will be enough to placate Giant fans with the 12-1 Steelers in town.

SUNDAY

* Baltimore Ravens at Indianapolis Colts (ESPN, 5:30 p.m.)

And then, Big Brother takes care of business. Peyton needs three touchdown passes to break Marino’s season record of 48. Worth noting: Manning has thrown at least three touchdown passes in each of his first six home games this season.

* “SportsCenter”

(ESPN, 8:30 p.m.)

“SportsCenter” begins a five-part dissection of America’s favorite dysfunctional family, the Lakers, with a “Sunday Conversation” interview with O’Neal, who tells Stephen A. Smith what will be on his mind when he returns to Staples Center to face Kobe Bryant on Christmas Day.

“Nothing,” O’Neal says. “We played together. We had great times together. But we move on from there. I won’t dwell on that. I had great times there, won a lot of championships there. Staples Center was built because of me. There are certain things you can’t take away from me.”