When Lasorda Speaks, the Point Becomes Mute

I know people who make fun of ESPN’s “Around the [Screaming] Horn,” which features sportswriters yelling at one another on TV and making fools of themselves because ESPN is willing to pay the scribes to be goofy.

It’s probably true that I’d still be on the show if I hadn’t been fired for making fun of the screamfest so often; ESPN doesn’t mind criticism as long as it isn’t directed at ESPN, but for everything terrible that “Around the [Screaming] Horn” has going for it, it got one thing right: the mute button.

The mute button allows the show’s host to silence the screaming sportswriters, and while it’s one thing to tune out the wife, just imagine if you had a portable mute button and you could just shut anyone up whenever you wanted.

I was thinking of that as I listened to Tom Lasorda talk Friday on the radio.

Lasorda was a guest on the “Loose Cannons” (how appropriate) and, as usual, he was saying one silly, ridiculous thing after another, but then by even Lasorda standards the bluster went too far, and I found myself pounding on the dashboard urging the hosts to mute the blowhard.

The subject was Adrian Beltre, and Lasorda said, “You cannot criticize Mr. McCourt or Mr. DePodesta,” which makes him the only one who isn’t enjoying the newest pastime in Los Angeles.

Lasorda said the Dodgers’ bid for Beltre had been very competitive, which Beltre said was not true. Lasorda said Seattle had offered more years, which was not true. He said Frank McCourt and Paul DePodesta had done everything they could to sign Beltre, which was not true, because they didn’t match Seattle’s offer, and with the Boston Parking Lot Attendant’s financial reputation hanging in the balance, it’s something McCourt should have done to establish his credibility. As we know now, he has none.

Lasorda said sometimes a team has to say no when money demands become too great, and then he bellowed: “Where’s Beltre’s loyalty?”

I found myself yelling, “Where was the Dodgers’ loyalty when they sent team leader Paul Lo Duca to Florida with the Dodgers sitting in first place?

“Where was the team’s loyalty when it dismissed Ross Porter?”

I reached for my cellphone, and came that close to becoming a sports talk show caller for the first time, which probably marks the darkest moment of my life to date.

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WHEN RICK MAJERUS canceled a lunch date Thursday with Page 2, I should have known something was wrong. He never cancels lunch.

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HARRY THOMPSON, a former guard for the L.A. Rams’ 1951 NFL championship team and one of the most pleasant people you could hope to meet in your lifetime, was a fixture at Hollywood Park in recent years. He could always be found sitting on the same bench just inside the main gate, and while I don’t ever recall him passing on information that proved profitable, most of the time the visit with Harry was the highlight of the day.

Harry passed away last year, and in a very nice gesture, Hollywood Park has dedicated the first bench just inside the main gate with a small plaque, making it the Harry Thompson memorial bench.

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KARL DORRELL gets paid $600,000 a year, is 12-12 on the job, and UCLA is so thrilled that he came within a touchdown of USC that it gives him a two-year contract extension so they can make sure they tie him up through 2010. My question: Who was going to steal him?

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THE MAGIC number to certify TVG analyst Frank Lyons as “The Loser” once again and present the Mattel Children’s Hospital at UCLA with $3,000 is eight.

With two days of racing remaining at Hollywood Park, the Page 2 team of jockeys (Victor Espinoza, Tyler Baze and Felipe Martinez) has 31 wins, while The Loser’s team (Rene Douglas, Martin Pedroza and David Flores) has 19.

Baze has contributed 18 wins to the cause, and said he has been motivated by “revenge,” explaining he was the exercise rider for Castledale, which is owned by The Loser, but when it came time for the horse’s Kentucky Derby campaign, The Loser picked another jockey to ride.

“That’s why I’ve been trying so hard ... that, and for the kids,” said Baze.

Lyons called in sick to TVG on Saturday, and I think we know why.

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WHEN IT comes to this year’s Kentucky Derby, Espinoza is your expert. He has ridden three of the top 2-year-olds to wins in recent weeks. He won a $1-million race in Louisiana on Texcess, then rode Fusaichi Samurai, purchased for $4.5 million, to a victory in its debut at Inglewood, and Saturday made it four wins without a loss on Declan’s Moon in the Hollywood Park Futurity.

When he got off Samurai, he said, this “could be the best horse ever.”

Declan’s Moon trainer Ron Ellis, getting a laugh out of that, said, “I think [Declan’s Moon] could be a historical type horse,” later likening him to Seattle Slew as Ellis looks ahead to the Triple Crown.

So who does Espinoza elect to ride in the Kentucky Derby? He wouldn’t say, but when he does, you’ve got your first legitimate Derby tip.

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THE ORANGE County Register reported that at Friday night’s Laker game, Barry Bonds sat in the same seat that cowboy Karl Malone occupied “that” night in late November, and then later moved and sat next to Vanessa Bryant. Bonds met with Kobe before the game, I presume to get his hunting license.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Joseph P.:

“I’m so upset with the Dodgers, I don’t even know what to say. What does [Frank] McCourt say when you people ask him why he’s ruining the Dodgers?”

Buddy, can you lend me a dime?

Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.