Everything’s prettier on ice

If there’s one thing we, as Americans, can agree on as we approach the end of this long and politically divisive year, it is this: Everything is better on ice.

No, seriously. We love popsicles and snowmen and cold-filtered beer. We put ice in our coffee and ice in our tea. Sometimes we even put ice in our wine, which, I’m pretty sure, is the real reason French people hate us. As Americans we believe that ice makes everything more fun. Well, except for that Titanic thing, which, despite making Hollywood a tidy profit, was a pretty terrible shipwreck.

So no one, not even the French, should be surprised at how much we love Disney on Ice, an ever-changing touring production now in its 23rd year. You’ve got your bright lights, your loud music, your outrageously expensive souvenirs and your beloved cartoon characters -- Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy -- live and in person and on skates. Dude, come on! How can you not love that?

Which is why every year the show-business gurus at Feld Entertainment, the same people who bring you the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, roll out a new assortment of ice-skating Disney-copyrighted characters who swirl, jump and triple lutz straight into your heart.

This year it’s Disney/Pixar’s “Monsters, Inc. on Ice,” coming to Staples Center tonight for the beginning of a 3 1/2 -week run at four Southern California venues.

There will be all the significant monsters from the movie -- one-eyed Mike Wazowski, blue-furred Sulley, 8 feet tall; the multitentacled Mt. Waternoose and Randall, the reptilian bad guy. There will be little Boo, the giggling girl who gets loose in Monstopolis, there will be a Scream Floor and Flying Doors and, oh by the way, it’s on ice!

“We’re not trying to do the movie live, that’s never our objective,” says creative director Jerry Bilik, who has been part of the Disney on Ice team ever since executive producer Kenneth Feld came up with the idea in 1979. “But we want to incorporate as much of the story as we can, with all the energy and the humor that makes the movie work.

“For this show, everything needed to be on a grand scale, from the size of the monsters to the door-mania chase, which takes place on the ice and above the crowd. We add musical numbers (including the Beatles’ ‘Help’ and Bachman-Turner Overdrive’s ‘Takin’ Care of Business’) and we make sure the kids never get bored, even if they’ve seen the video 9,000 times. But we don’t design it just for kids. There’s lots of sophisticated skating. It’s designed for everybody. If we see older people squirming in their seats, then we haven’t done our job.”

This all started when Feld, who’d just purchased two more-traditional ice shows, including “Holiday on Ice,” approached Disney about using skating versions of classic Disney animated characters in one of his numbers. Disney, in spite of the fact that Uncle Walt had long been rumored to have an interest in freezing stuff, declined.

Then Feld came back with a counterproposal: What if we built an entire ice show around the Disney characters?

“Walt Disney’s World on Ice” hit the road in 1981 and was an immediate success. Soon, instead of just putting an assortment of costumed characters on skates, Feld and Bilik started reinterpreting entire Disney films -- “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” in 1986, “Pinocchio” in 1987, “Peter Pan” in 1989.

By the 1990s, Disney on Ice had evolved into full-scale musical productions, with detailed story lines and elaborate special effects. They did “Beauty and the Beast” in 1992, two years before Disney launched a Broadway production of the same story. They put on “Aladdin” in 1993, making the ice look like sand, and “The Little Mermaid” in 1998, creating the illusion of an underwater world.

Feld decides which Disney-owned properties to put on skates, although the Disney corporate lords must sign off on all productions. Every year, about this time, Feld and Bilik get together in Sarasota, Fla., the circus’ winter headquarters, to plan the next year’s show.

They took a pass on trying to do “Disney’s Atlantis” but are considering an on-ice version of “The Incredibles” for next year.

(Feld and Bilik have never attempted to take advantage of Disney’s Miramax partnership, which is why we will never see “Pulp Fiction on Ice.” Also not being considered for next year: “Ovitz Trial on Ice,” “Alamo on Ice” or “Desperate Housewives on Ice.”)

“It’s hard to make some of these shows work,” Bilik says. “When we were considering ‘Finding Nemo,’ we thought, this is a story about fish. And fish don’t have legs. To do this as an ice show is insane.”

And yet, “Disney/Pixar Presents Finding Nemo on Ice” opened in September in Lakeland, Fla. It will come to Los Angeles next year.

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‘Monsters, Inc. on Ice’

Shows through Jan. 16 at Southland venues. Info: www.disneyonice.com or (213) 480-3232 or (714) 740-2000. Tickets $13 to $50; $10 tickets available the first night only at each venue.

Where: Staples Center, 1111 S. Figueroa St., L.A.

When: 7:30 p.m. today; 1 and 5 p.m. Friday; 1 and 5 p.m. Sunday

Where: Arrowhead Pond, 2695 Katella Ave., Anaheim

When: 7:30 p.m. Tuesday; 12:30 and 7:30 p.m.

Wednesday and next Thursday; 12:30 and 4:30 p.m. Dec. 31; noon, 3:30 and 7:30 p.m. Jan. 1-2.

Where: Long Beach Arena, 300 E. Ocean Blvd., Long Beach

When: 7:30 p.m. Jan. 5-6; 11 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. Jan. 7; noon, 3:30 and 7:30 p.m. Jan. 8; noon and 3:30 p.m. Jan. 9.

Where: L.A. Sports Arena, 3939 S. Figueroa St.

When: 7:30 p.m. Jan. 12-13; 11 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. Jan. 14; noon, 3:30 and 7:30 p.m. Jan. 15-16