Well, at Least They Didn’t Write ‘Marlin’ Brando

In the Fame is Fleeting Department, an obituary in UCLA’s Daily Bruin referred to one of Marlon Brando’s films as “A Street Cart Named Desire.” Stella! Spella!

Another effect of rising health costs? David Chan of Los Angeles spotted an ad indicating that two hospitals serving different clienteles had merged (see accompanying).

Bottoms up! Leonard Fisher of L.A. saw a notice about a medical school with drinking on its mind. Meanwhile, Keith Dixon of Los Alamitos noticed a property that is apparently furnished with boozers (see accompanying).

A way out? For anyone pondering an escape from his or her final resting place, Dolores Russell of Huntington Beach spotted what could be a good location (see accompanying).

Disorder in the court! Bar groups aren’t known for their humor. One exception, the L.A. Daily Journal points out, is Riverside County’s Desert Bar Assn., which annually gives selected members the Bird, a half-foot-tall brass roadrunner, for humorous actions. Some of those honored include:

* Rancho Mirage attorney Thomas Grossman, who dictated a letter “complaining about the addressee’s ‘fraudulent’ conduct. Grossman later learned that spell-check had changed it to ‘flatulent’ conduct.”

* Indian Wells attorney Brian Harnik, who “thought he had permission to take an Indio judge’s robe from a coatrack and lend it to a high school student who was acting as a jurist in a mock-trial competition at the courthouse.” The judge actually was about to take the bench; the robe was “reported stolen and the courthouse was turned upside down in a frantic search.”

* Commissioner J. Michael McCoy, who was told by an attorney that her client’s husband was a “dangerous psychopath” from east Texas, where people are “weirdos and gun freaks.” McCoy reportedly responded: “I think I should advise you that I am from east Texas.”

Department of Miscommunication: “I may be an optimist,” wrote Nancy M. of Long Beach, “but I always thought the lyrics to ‘I Love L.A.’ by Randy Newman were ‘Rolling down Imperial Highway, big glass of lemonade at my side.’ ” She added: “Boy, was I disappointed to find out about the ‘big nasty redhead.’ ”

Sorry about that, Nancy. I should add, though, that a lot of guys would view the “big nasty redhead” as the height of optimism.

miscelLAny: After Sylvester Stallone declared that carrying the Olympic torch in L.A. was “the proudest moment of my life,” Tom FitzGerald’s San Francisco Chronicle column wondered whether the actor would seek “a five-sequel deal.”

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATimes, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.