Lakers Are Lucky That the Series Is Still Going

They can’t handle the truth.

Far from their glittering Staples Center, the clock struck 11 on the Laker dynasty. They’re one loss from elimination -- followed by disintegration? -- and in the really bad news for them, the next game will be here, too.

In other words, if Jack Nicholson, Denzel Washington and Dyan Cannon want to be sure they see Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant wearing the same uniform again, they had better order up a jet and get here by Tuesday.

Of course, it’s good that Nicholson wasn’t here to see the Pistons shoot 41 free throws to the Lakers’ 22, making it Detroit by 132-78 in the Finals, or he might have made Col. Nathan Jessup look like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.

Not that free throws are the Lakers’ only problem. Even with a monster game by the rested Shaquille O’Neal (36 points, 20 rebounds), they were still out-rebounded, 45-38, making them a minus-26 for the series.

On the plus side, Piston Coach Larry Brown did say some nice things about the Lakers, though.

“They have a coach who won nine championships and only one other guy ever did that,” Brown said. “They’ve got two of the greatest players in the game, that are in their prime so we can’t take anything for granted.”

Of course, it would be a lot better for the Lakers if two of the greatest players, who are in their primes, played well the same night. O’Neal was awful in Game 3. Bryant has been terrible in Games 1, 3 and 4. No other Laker has been in double figures the whole series.

Let’s see, they can’t rebound, or defend, have no balance on offense and both their superstars are far below their Finals averages.

Given all that, they’re lucky the series is still going. Of course, if it wasn’t for Bryant’s miracle three-pointer in Game 2, it wouldn’t be.

In the absence of anything else working, Coach Phil Jackson tried working the referees before Game 4, irritating Brown to no small extent.

Asked about holding Bryant to 13 shots in the last game, Brown noted, “We foul. We fouled him before he shot the ball. If you’re allowed to slap arms and put bodies on people, how are they going to get shots?”

Of course, Jackson keeps asking the same thing, except he isn’t joking.

Then Brown was asked about Rasheed Wallace, who had been in foul trouble all series.

“Well, when we talk about fouls, he hasn’t been able to play a lot,” Brown said. “I don’t think anybody else in this series has been impacted by fouls, even though he’s not very physically big and imposing.”

Sunday night, Wallace scored 26 points and managed to stay on the floor for 41 incendiary minutes, even if he did throw his headband 10 rows into the stands during one of his tantrums.

With Karl Malone a shadow of himself, that leaves Slava Medvedenko and Luke Walton to contest the 6-foot-11 Wallace.

Let’s just say that if Wallace was the player they thought he’d be when they gave him that $17 million-a-year contract, he’d be getting 26 every night.

After all that complaining by Jackson, Sunday’s crew of Dick Bavetta, Jack Nies and Ed F. Rush must not have gotten the memo. After Bryant was bumped on an early move and didn’t get the call, Jackson got a technical after jumping into Nies’ face.

“I don’t think it worked,” Jackson said afterward, dryly. “It was in the first quarter. His first free throws were at the end of the game.”

Before that came the great unraveling, with the Lakers showing their pique at the referees late in the game, even the poised Bryant, who gave Nies another earful and got another technical.

If you can’t stay in front of your opponents, and they keep beating you to the ball, and they don’t give you many looks and you can’t even make many of your open shots, and the referees won’t give you “a fair shake,” as Jackson noted, you might be in trouble.

O’Neal was a monster Sunday, vintage Shaq, the one we hadn’t seen for years but he was coming off two days’ rest. Tuesday he’ll be coming off one.

Then there’s Bryant, who has energy to burn but is 12 for 38 from the field in the last two games.

Then there are the other Lakers, be they ever so old, or hurt, or inexperienced.

It’s always supposed to be darkest before the dawn.

Of course, it it’s also pretty dark before the end, too.