Fisherman’s Crime Report Doesn’t Make Much of a Splash in Police Log

A man complained “that his cellphone was missing after it fell into the ocean because he bent over the rail to reel in a fish,” the police log of the Huntington Beach Independent said. Well, at least he still had a story about “the one that got away.”

Is worshipping ‘Baywatch’ OK? The American Civil Liberties Union, as you may have heard, is demanding that the L.A. County seal be modified because it includes a cross paying tribute to the Catholic missions.

Well, lifeguard supervisor Nick Steers, by chance, observed a T-shirt with an L.A. County seal “better suited to meeting lifestyles of the new millennium” (see accompanying).

Or there’s this alternative: Some years ago after it was kidded by a disc jockey, the city of Paramount honored the radio station with a resolution, which was affixed with a not-so-official seal (see accompanying).

Kids are getting so big these days: At least that’s the conclusion you could draw from the martial arts uniform ad that Tom Leventhal of Long Beach spotted (see accompanying).

You’d think the noisemakers would be tired by now: The police blotter of Laguna Beach’s Coastline Pilot said a resident “reported hearing chanting, described as an ongoing problem for the past 30 years.”

Faking themselves into the popcorn machine: “Chick,” an autobiography of Chick Hearn co-written by my colleague Steve Springer, offers some of the late Laker announcer’s favorite offbeat incidents, including:

* Guard Flynn Robinson racing in for a layup when “the glue loosened on the front of [his] toupee. That wig blew backward and stood straight up, looking like the bill of a cap.” (Robinson scored, anyway.)

* Guard Dick Barnett, left bleeding after he was knocked into the press table, picked up a loose phone, yelled “Get me a doc!” into it and then ran back “onto the court and right back into the flow of the game.”

* Bench-warmer Johnny Neumann, told to go into a game, yanked off his sweat pants “only to discover he’d forgotten to put on his shorts.” Quipped Hearn: “He got the biggest ovation of his career.”

Department of Miscommunications: “Actually, I remembered this some time ago, but was waiting until I didn’t have to worry about spelling ‘mondegreen,’ ” began Catherine Wynne.

Wynne’s daughter, then 6, visited London with her father but was afraid to go to the Tower of London because of the red-suited guards (the ones who inspired a brand of gin).

“She knew they were called Bee Feeders,” Wynne explained, “and she was afraid that she’d be attacked by their ‘killer’ pets.”

miscelLAny: In the Don’t-Know-Much-About-Geography Department, this column said the former Mr. Swiss Restaurant bore “a quaint Scandinavian name.” Actually, the former Mr. Swiss Restaurant bore a quaint Swiss name. The boo-boo did enable me to make many new Swiss friends, though.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATimes, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.