The breakfast of champion gendarmes

If Monsieur Drive-by has learned anything on his journey of culinary curiosity, it’s the rarity of true fast-food innovation. There’s hardly anything new under the bun any more. (Though you have to give mad props to the fevered genius who conjured up the maple-syrup-infused sausage-flapjack hybrid known as the McGriddle.) Most “new” products simply rearrange the edible deck chairs or, in the super-size era, pile a few more on deck. It’s this latter approach that gives us the Burger King Double Croissan’wich, which we dare you to pronounce DOO-blay QUAH-sohn-weesh with a French accent when ordering.

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Double Croissan’wich

Taste: **

Imagine your standard-issue breakfast “McWich” -- egg, sausage and American cheese. Now imagine it again. That’s a pretty good suggestion of what’s waiting between the croissant halves: same portable eats, just more of ‘em. As a bonus, the consumer is spared that difficult morning decision: bacon or sausage? The double has both.

Diet Watch: *

It’s easy to dismiss anything called “double” as unkind to the waistline. And you can easily lump this 610-calorie sandwich (with 46 fat grams and 25 grams of carbs) into that generalization. Mass morning consumption has one bright side: skipping lunch. After a 9:30 a.m. chow-down, Drive-By didn’t pull over again until well after 1:30 p.m.

Portability: ***

The BKDC lasted 8/10ths of the Miracle Mile on the morning commute, and proved to be no problem in stop-and-go traffic despite the potential danger of added ingredients. The croissant architecture held up admirably throughout, leaving only slight flaking and a buttery steering wheel residue.

Hype-o-meter: ****

These are the second-creepiest food ads currently on TV (behind Van De Camp’s fish-out-of-water campaign). An idyllic morning of chirping birds is shattered when a man wakes to find Burger King in his bed. To smooth things over, the King hands him a Double Croissan’wich. They laugh and live happily ever after. Memorable, sure, but it makes you wonder what the guy was drinking to end up in the sack with a 1970s fast-food mascot.

* Ratings are on a scale of one (lowest) to four (best).