All That Handshaking Requires Finger-Pointing

Oh boy, I get to spend the day at Wal-Mart and Target with the wife.

She’s probably hoping she gets lucky too, capping off the night at Hometown Buffet.

As for the Dodgers, they shouldn’t feel so bad; they get to go golfing.

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BEFORE THE game Tom Lasorda yelled, “Forget your wife; you’re going to St. Louis.”

Well, I spent the next three hours trying to forget the wife, and while it was tougher than I thought, just when I thought I had succeeded, the Dodgers didn’t do their part.

I’m not surprised. They ought to thank their lucky rallies against crummy bullpens that they get first-round playoff shares for getting this far. I know I’d be satisfied with that.

I did get a genuine blue Dodger baseball cap out of all this, the Micro Manager’s gift Sunday night because he remembers hearing me say that if the Dodgers ever made it to the playoffs, I’d wear it. I’m not surprised he hears voices.

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THERE WAS a lot of mushy talk about the Dodgers -- playing the role of good losers and coming on to the field to shake the hands of the mighty Cardinals. Someone suggested that even Page 2 couldn’t make fun of such a thing -- which we see Little League teams do all the time.

“It was a good ending,” as one press box wag noted, and here I thought a “good ending” in baseball was winning the World Series.

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A FEW loose ends before continuing.

* Robin Ventura, a pro’s pro in the clubhouse, said he made the decision about a week ago to retire once the season was over. So when he came to the plate in the eighth inning, barring another incredible Dodger comeback, he was making his final appearance. And Ventura, who hit 18 grand slams in his career, hit the ball maybe a good six or seven feet before the Cardinals’ catcher threw him out.

“It’s very poetic,” said Ventura. “That’s the way baseball goes; it’s not all supposed to be some kind of [feel-good] movie.”

* The Dodgers’ clubhouse was overflowing with media after the game, and while Milton Bradley sat in front of his locker, no one approached him. He walked past me, tapped my leg, and happy to report he didn’t punch me in the leg, I asked if he wanted to say anything. He replied, “Why not?”

Asked about the end of the season, he said, he felt “relief.” “It was a humbling year, but I believe everything happens for a reason. I went through a lot, but it was worth it. I also had the best time I have ever had in baseball. This is the best group of guys from the owner, to the manager, to the players, to the ushers to the fans.”

And the media? “I wish everybody well -- even you guys.”

* I noticed Albert Pujols laughing after chatting with Eric Gagne at the end of the game, and Gagne explained, “I’m funny.” In fact he’s gotten a lot funnier as the season has gone on, and he’s become more comfortable in his role as one of the team’s leaders.

He said he expects the Dodgers to offer him a long-term contract rather than tangle again in arbitration. “I can’t take that for granted, but that’s what I hear,” he said. “I don’t know if [the Boston Parking Lot Attendant] has money, but he just came in here and said he wants to win, and so if he does, he’ll find the money.”

Now that’s funny.

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ON A bright note, the Parking Lot Attendant’s favorite team is still alive in the playoffs.

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THE DODGERS whiffed again, silencing Nancy Bea Hefley’s organ and background music of any sort to hear Michael Feinstein’s forgettable rendition of the national anthem. Michael who? I wonder if Lon Rosen, the new guy in charge of entertainment, grew up in St. Louis? If Jose Lima sings the national anthem, as he did earlier this season, the fans go bonkers, and maybe Odalis Perez doesn’t pitch like a dead man.

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THE DODGERS continued their spare-no-expense pregame excitement, inviting 1988 champions’ Steve Sax, Dodgers’ coach John Shelby and Lasorda to throw out the ceremonial first pitch. It might be the first time in baseball history a team has had the same person -- Lasorda -- throw out the ceremonial first pitch in back-to-back games.

In introducing Lasorda, the public address announcer said this was the man who sent Kirk Gibson to the plate in the first game of the World Series for his dramatic home run. It’d have been exciting had they actually introduced Gibson.

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THE DODGERS showed Game 4 of the National League championship series against the Mets in 1988 on the big screen in Dodger Stadium, a game the Dodgers won in 12 innings and filled with great performances -- maybe the best being Al Michaels’ play by play. And all this time I just thought he was a bad golfer.

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PUJOLS HIT a three-run homer against Wilson Alvarez on a 3-and-1 pitch in the fourth inning, and then pitching coach Jim Colborn came out to chat with Alvarez. Nice time for Colborn to tell him he shouldn’t have thrown “that” pitch. And Colborn thinks columnists are second-guessers.

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CBS.SPORTSLINE RAN the following headline Sunday: “Sooners Pull Close to USC in AP Poll,” missing the real story, of course, which is the fact that UCLA received 50 points and now has climbed to within 1,551 of the Trojans.

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WHEN I saw ESPN’s Jim Gray sitting in the second row of the Dugout Club, I figured Kobe must be here too. Turns out I was right, only Kobe was the name of the bomb-sniffing dog that had checked out Dodger Stadium before the game. I’m guessing if the dog talks, though, it only does to Gray.

Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.