Paying Big Bucks for Table Scraps

Milt Oberman found himself at a pricey Gelson’s on the Westside when a woman in his line recommended the fresh, sliced turkey -- specifically the dark meat. She added: “I get it for my dog.” No higher praise than that.

Dry humor: I’m not sure whether the car owner or the car would be dunked, but I’d take heed of this church sign, shot in Culver City by Justin Max Rosse (see photo). Come to think of it, my dusty vehicle could use some water splashed on it.

Eye-Catching Names Dept.: “My brother, Duane Keeling, just got back from his honeymoon in New England,” wrote Beth Goss of Portola Hills, “where they spotted an informational sign in Maine that zapped the romance from the gorgeous fall scenery” (see photo).

Who’s your mayor? James K. Hahn is not the most charismatic leader Los Angeles has ever had. His name just doesn’t come up in ordinary conversation very often. Perhaps that’s why an ad for a Jewish National Fund event, spotted by Don Maddox of Tarzana, confused Hahn with his late father, the county supervisor (see accompanying).

Halloween joke? Actually, the “Test Only” sign in the car parked outside a mortuary refers to a smog-test shop next door, reported Robert Bergstrom of Fullerton (see photo).

Freeway follies: The topic-of-the-month on writer Don Barrett’s laradio.com website is interesting freeway sightings, and I can’t resist relaying a couple.

Radio reporter Jim Thornton told me about a motorist who had a simple solution when caught in a massive traffic jam behind an overturned truck on the Riverside Freeway.

The driver pulled over onto the shoulder, parked his car, took a skateboard out of his trunk and glided away, briefcase in hand.

Later, the skater / motorist phoned Thornton to explain that he figured he had a couple of hours to get his work done before anyone would notice his car.

Freeway follies (Part 2): Then there was the young man, dressed like a devil, who was arrested on the Santa Monica Freeway after allegedly shaking a 6-foot-long pitchfork at passing cars. Turned out he was a UCLA student who was part of a film project.

miscelLAny: In an online advertisement for a Halloween gift, J’Amy Pacheco spotted this creepy notation: “WARNING: This product contains a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer, or birth defects or other reproductive harm.

Sorry, no gift boxing available.”