Carbs for your car

SOME fast-food industry experts say South American flavors, regional Mexican food and white tea will be among the trends to watch in 2006. Our guess is things will be slightly less exotic.

After all, did those experts sample dozens of new products and collectively gain 15 pounds the way Team Drive-By did in the last 12 months? (Wait, don’t answer that.)

Here are the highlights and lowlights from ’05 and some predictions.

TASTE

Highlight: In recent years, Jack in the Box got on base with sourdough and panini bread, but not until this year’s introduction of ciabatta did they knock one out of the park. Other chains seem to have noticed.

Lowlight: Pastrami is good, hot dogs are good, but the Wienerschnitzel Pastrami Dog was not. Its large pickle wedge overwhelmed the taste, and the pretzel bun was either too dry or too chewy. Even so, it spawned ‘Schnitzel pastrami burgers and sandwiches. Go figure.

Prediction: Corporate kitchens will work feverishly concocting new breeds of bread. Can you say pumpernickel pita?

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DIET WATCH

Highlight: For those forgoing French fries, Wendy’s started offering lighter choices in their combo meals, while McDonald’s began selling Happy Meals with “apple dippers.”

Lowlight: Big breakfast sandwiches became the bane of dieters. Burger King introduced the Egg’Normous, but it wasn’t ‘normous enough, so they added ham, making it Meat’Normous.

Prediction: Someone will finally offer carrot and celery sticks, but they will be battered and deep-fried.

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PORTABILITY

Highlight: Catering to the car culture, companies created weird new food designed for single-hand operation. Taco Bell gave us the Crunchwrap Supreme, with half a dozen ingredients folded into a toasted tortilla.

Lowlight: Burger King introduced Chicken Fries -- processed chick-sticks for those who felt McDonald’s McNuggets were too bulky.

Prediction: Taco Bell will introduce something called Crunchwrap Supreme Extreme that’s so car-friendly, we will be encouraged to drive, eat, talk on the cellphone and apply mascara simultaneously.

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HYPE-O-METER

Highlight: The King, the Master of the Flame and the ever-reliable Jack all made funny and memorable commercials, but the bizarro award goes to Carl’s Jr. for the overly enthusiastic cowboy shaking and spanking a cow to get a milkshake.

Lowlight: Carl’s also gets the award for the biggest dud with its short-lived campaign featuring an ill-tempered fetus threatening to “bust out” of his womb. Fortunately, the featured burger was modified, and the fetus was replaced by Paris Hilton washing a Bentley.

Prediction: Marketers will approach other hard-partying female celebrities to hawk their products, but they will prove to be too painfully skinny to believably sell fast food.