‘Thanks’ Deserves a Better Response

When did you first hear it? Not a pleasant “You’re welcome” in response to your “Thank you” for some service provided, but a cool, indifferent “No problem” instead. How did it come about? How did “No problem” enter the culture as an acceptable response to “Thank you”?

Everyone recognizes that “Thank you” is about expressing gratitude to someone for their service, their graciousness, their artistry, however commercial, however passing the relationship between two people. “You’re welcome” is an acknowledgment of appreciation, an affirmation that the appreciation is welcomed and reciprocated.

Together, “Thank you” and “You’re welcome” are more than a ritual exchange of formalities, like “How are you?” and “I’m fine.” The former serve to establish a personal bond of mutual respect; they declare a relationship that is voluntary, not servile, based on kindness, not coercion. You appreciate that I’ve provided you another cup of coffee; I appreciate your appreciation because I’m working my feet off while you’re resting yours.

What does “No problem” say? It certainly doesn’t say you’re welcome to my attention and service; it doesn’t say “Thank you” for the appreciation. It isn’t a recognition of appreciation at all. It might be a way of saying, “If this had been a problem I might not have done it.” It might say, “Lucky for you I was coming by with the coffee pot anyway.”

It seems to express an odd presumption that the customer’s primary concern is the provider’s favorable disposition. It might be an appropriate if boorish response to “I hope that didn’t put you out too much.” No doubt, most people in the service industries don’t make enough money, and most work very hard, but customers don’t go to restaurants to share pains and problems. And are the servers who indicate that their service was no problem inadvertently suggesting they deserve no tip?

“No problem” is an exhibition of transcendent indifference, the epitome of coolness. “You’re welcome” is about the customer; “No problem” is about the provider.

Granted, this isn’t a big issue compared with the war in Iraq, millions of Americans out of work and tens of millions without medical care. But the decadence of our culture’s conventions may be an indicator of a more serious and growing social dysfunction. In any case, occasional attention to our customs needn’t be a significant distraction from saving the country or the world.

It may be a matter of relatively minor importance, but “no problem” is a problem.