Tired of Amber Waves of Grain, Phantom Gardener Strikes
Were the neighbors trying to tell her something? The crime log of the Seal Beach Sun said a resident “came home to find her backyard gate open and the lawn mowed.” The crime log added: “She did not have a gardener.”
Come to think of it, I could use a vigilante handyman.
Not to worry: Marvin Petal of Oxnard saw a for-sale notice (with numerous typos) for a physical therapy building whose furnishings would seem to soothe the anxieties of a buyer (see accompanying).
Guide to adventurous dining: “Is this made with Greek horsemeat?” Don Volk of Santa Barbara asked of one dish he saw advertised (see accompanying). He suspects it was supposed to say “filo” or “phyllo” dough.
Unclear on the concept: Gwen Schlick of Hemet sent along a snapshot of a sign that just begged for your nonattention (see photo).
Another sign that deserves to be ignored: It hangs over Highland Avenue in Hollywood, where actor/journalist Will Rogers notes, “distractions run the gamut from TV screens on buildings and 100-foot billboards to the denizens of Hollywood, not to mention the gigantic traffic sign with lighted orange letters overhead (see photo).” Added Rogers: “You’ll note that, given the traffic, for anyone who WANTS to watch the road, it’s virtually impossible to see any pavement.”
Van Nuys Division, where are you? Don’t know if you caught the piece in Tuesday’s Times about Dallas’ outspoken mayor, Laura Miller. It mentioned in passing that she was a Times intern about 25 years ago. I recall that, with her personality, she fit right in, though she was, of course, inexperienced.
I remember her telling a story with a laugh about how she phoned the LAPD’s Van Nuys Division on a weekend and got no answer after 10 or 12 rings. She hung up and phoned the LAPD’s downtown headquarters, where she told an officer that there was no one home at the Van Nuys Division.
The officer told her something to the effect, “Little lady, if that’s true, you have yourself a whale of a story.”
miscelLAny: I wrote that San Diego’s new stadium, Petco Park, has no toilet in the visitors’ isolated right-field bullpen and, as a result, Seattle reliever Matt Thornton had to climb over a fence into the stands to find a public bathroom. Then, he had to stand in line.
“Seems he couldn’t even relieve himself,” wrote Dennis Levin of Larchmont Village.
Rod Van Hook of ESPN radio, meanwhile, credited Thornton with a stat recently devised for middle-innings relief pitchers. He gave Thornton a “hold.”
Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.
