Kids, Go Get a Job If You Want to See the Dodgers

I delayed my vacation one day because the Dodger giggles just keep on coming. Now the Boston Parking Lot Attendant is going after the kids’ piggybanks.

Dodger fan Jerry Lister e-mailed to note that the Dodgers have increased the kids’ application for “Blue Crew Fan Club” membership from $12 to $15.

When Frank McCourt assumed ownership of the Dodgers, a team spokesman confirmed, he increased the membership from $9 to $12.

Although a number of adults seem to be having problems with the team’s relentless, nitpicking quest to make more money, it’s the kids who have been hit the hardest -- with almost a 67% increase during McCourt’s time on the job.

Obviously, he wants to teach the kids early that it’s going to cost them dearly to be Dodger fans, which might make it easier to collect from them in later years.

A Dodger spokesman said “we’ve added a number of new things in the kids’ packages. We are not making money on these packages, not in the slightest,” and I would imagine when the Parking Lot Attendant hears that, there will be another increase.

“My son, Max, has been in the club since the horrendous Piazza trade -- he still has the shirt and the picture frame,” Lister wrote. “Anyway, the price has always been $9 for membership. Not a bad price, because the kids get some cool stuff. It is a great way to hook the kids onto the Dodgers.

“I am disappointed with the Dodgers. My son needs to go to the stadium. He needs the great game of baseball. I hope he doesn’t go away because his team only cares about corporations, sponsors and TV revenues.”

I’d suggest calling the Dodgers, but season-ticket holder Michael Horowicz tried that Monday, and it resulted in a long, frustrating day.

He e-mailed to say there was a misprint on his season tickets, so he called the Dodgers’ season-ticket office “at 11:06, and I got a recording saying that they’re only open normal business hours from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., and to please call back then.”

I heard from Horowicz again shortly after noon. “I tried again at 12:06 and got the same recording.”

This year the Dodgers are printing “stadium club membership” on season tickets rather than providing a separate stadium pass, and the notation was not included on Horowicz’s tickets.

“Finally,” he noted, “I got through at 2:21 after at least six attempts. A pain ... and all to save some printing costs.”

A Dodger spokesman said, “We had a glitch in our phone system, and hopefully it will be fixed shortly. Normally our customers do not get that recording.”

Maybe the glitch in the Dodgers’ phone system explains why I’ve been waiting 46 days for Jamie McCourt to call me -- as she promised.

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WENT TO Staples Center on Monday to be with the Clippers, seeking comfort from other losers, knowing how much more experienced they’d be in handling defeat.

I had just returned from Las Vegas after betting on all 48 NCAA tournament games played to date with the intention of winning enough money to build an additional wing for Mattel Children’s Hospital at UCLA -- you know, much like the Clippers beginning every year with the intention of winning the NBA championship.

I wagered $548, relying on the recommendations of doctors and staff at Mattel, and got back $495 for a net loss of $53. I’m passing the $495 on to Mattel, but it might take a little longer than I thought to pay for that new hospital wing.

In addition to advising the doctors at Mattel to stick to medicine and forget about wagering against the spread, I informed Caesars Palace, which previously promised to match all winnings, that it had nothing to match.

When Clipper public relations boss Joe Safety heard of the net loss, he said the Clippers would’ve been happy to match all winnings. Funny guy, but then I would’ve thought it more appropriate for the Clippers to match all losses.

Safety, who knows how to roll with the punches, and “who knows,” he said, “maybe this will help me get a date,” pulled out a checkbook and generously wrote a $53 check to Mattel to cover the net loss. Cheaper than signing up for dateanoldman.com, I guess.

A short time later Caesars Palace called and said it was not only going to donate an additional $495 to Mattel, but will be also sending a how-to-book on sports gambling, “Investing in College Basketball” by Larry Seidel. I’ll pass that on to the doctors at Mattel.

Several e-mailers have asked for an address to make their own donations to the children’s hospital, and in some cases offer the doctors some bracketology advice. Donations should be submitted to the hospital in care of Dr. Kathleen Sakamoto, 10833 Le Conte Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90095.

By the way, Sakamoto e-mailed recently in an attempt to get Page 2 to match the correct highbrow titles with the doctors mentioned in last week’s column. I think her boss should know how she’s wasting her time.

Sakamoto also told me last week under her breath that Texas Tech would beat UCLA, but that she wanted Page 2 to wager on UCLA in an obvious attempt to win favor with her UCLA superiors.

As a result, she cost the hospital $21.

Now if I have her highbrow pecking order correct, Dr. Edward McCabe is her superior, and he should be the one asking Sakamoto to donate $21 to the hospital.

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I WONDER what Jack Nicholson did.

Monday was the deadline for Laker season-ticket holders and all dreamers to purchase playoff tickets.

A Laker spokesman said, for example, $2,000 courtside seats would increase $100 for each round of the playoffs, and season-ticket holders were asked to submit payment for 15 to 16 potential home playoff games, or about $72,000 for a pair of seats.

The Clippers have not asked their fans to buy playoff tickets yet.

I would imagine they are waiting for the league to provide them with an instructional manual on how to do such a thing.

T.J. Simers can be reached at

t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.