Hoping Governor’s Got Some Answers

I got a package from Maria Shriver the other day, and I’m figuring this might be the connection that gets me a sit-down with her hubby.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s wife sent me an autographed copy of her best-selling book. It was awfully kind of her, especially after I poked fun at the 62-page “book” in a column. I had suggested Shriver tell her husband to study the chapters entitled “Be Willing to Let Go of Your Plan” and “Learn from Your Mistakes.”

I can only assume that sending me the book was Shriver’s way of extending an olive branch. Arnold has never responded to my requests for a get-together, but now that Maria and I are pen pals, maybe she’ll hook me up.

If he’s game, Schwarzenegger could pick me up in the Hummer and we could ride down to the border together on beer-belly patrol. As you probably know, the governor has taken a sudden interest in illegal immigration, praising the work of the Minutemen volunteers and saying it’s time to close the border.

He also had an interesting thought about the Channel 62 billboard that says the TV news team covers Los Angeles, Mexico, as opposed to Los Angeles, Calif.

“I think the big mistake is that it promotes illegal aliens to come in here,” Schwarzenegger said.

I didn’t quite follow the logic, so I went to look at one of the billboards on Sunset Boulevard in my neighborhood. All right, I saw it, and I still couldn’t figure out how a billboard in Silver Lake will motivate people to come to California illegally.

I know what does, though -- endless employment opportunities.

On our way down to the border in Big Boy’s Hummer, I can tell Arnold how useless it is to blab about sealing the border -- a virtually impossible task -- while giving a free pass to all the businesses that gladly hire or otherwise profit from illegal immigrants.

All I can figure is that it might be kind of awkward for Schwarzenegger to talk about clamping down on his pals in business, because they’re the ones who butter his bread.

Take banks. A lot of them gladly open accounts, with virtually no questions asked, to customers who aren’t citizens. Is the governor going to crack down on the practice when Team Arnold has pocketed more than $6.5 million from financial institutions?

Another $1.5 million has been donated to Schwarzenegger’s causes by agricultural interests. No illegal immigrants in their fields, I’m sure, even though more than half the agricultural workforce is estimated to be in the wink-and-nod program.

If Arnold is such a big supporter of the Minutemen, shouldn’t he ask the posse to mount up and ride to the nearest farms and banks?

Arnold got another $210,000 from Wal-Mart. Hey, isn’t that the retail giant that just avoided criminal charges by paying an $11-million fine for using illegal immigrants as janitors?

I’ve got so many questions for my sit-down with Arnold, I hardly know where to begin. Take those Channel 62 billboards he’s bashed: Is it just a coincidence that a Channel 62 competitor, Univision boss Jerry Perenchio, is the biggest single contributor to Schwarzenegger causes, at $1.5 million and counting?

Arnold’s right about one thing. The federal government has fallen down on the job when it comes to immigration policy and enforcement, and it spends a pittance on the economic development of Mexico and Latin America compared to what it is sinking into Iraq.

As I’ve said before, it’s fair to ask questions about the cost to taxpayers who foot the bill for the education, medical care and jailing of illegal immigrants. There’s also truth to the argument that in some cases, the wages of legal residents -- many of whom spent years going through the legalization process -- are driven down by the availability of cheap, illegal and easily exploitable labor.

But Schwarzenegger has given little more than lip service to those issues, choosing instead to shoot his mouth off on the most simplistic and divisive aspects of a complicated matter, choosing once more to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

Is it the Hollywood training?

Is it a desperate attempt to boost his ratings?

Does he just not know his stuff?

Schwarzenegger is the immigrant governor of the state with the most immigrants, and the best he can do is blow a bugle for the Minutemen?

At the very least, he ought to be on the phone with the White House as President Bush struggles with the issue himself. Bush has at least demonstrated an interest in reform, if not the courage to lead.

Maybe when Arnold and I lock and load for our drive to the border, I’ll have time to straighten him out on some of these matters, as well as throw out a few more questions.

Did Arnold ever answer questions about whether he worked for pay in 1968 while in California on a visa that barred him from earning a salary?

Come on, Arnold, don’t make me have to put the Minutemen on the case.

*

Reach the columnist at steve.lopez@latimes.com and read previous columns at www.latimes.com/lopez.