It’s Tough to Get Aced Out by Stepmom

A day on the links with the stepmother may not sound like fun, but for Randy Massey of El Paso, it wasn’t all bad. With his stepmother by his side, Massey used an eight-iron to ace the 130-yard eighth hole at Painted Dunes Desert Golf Course. As he was enjoying his moment in the sun, however, Terri Massey teed it up and her shot also went into the hole. The odds of two players in the same foursome scoring holes in one, according to Golf Digest, are 17,000,000-1.

“It was just a weird deal,” Randy Massey said.

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Trivia time: Smarty Jones was the odds-on favorite last year when he won the Preakness Stakes. Name the previous horse to win the race as the favorite, and the year he won.

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Hold the fries: Lance Armstrong will burn 132,000 calories during the Tour de France, according to Playboy, which calculated that is equal to the calories in 236 Big Macs.

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Faulty logic: Asked why he doesn’t like the zone defense, Denver Nugget Coach George Karl told the Denver Post, “I don’t know who to yell at when it doesn’t work.”

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Fired up: Coach Steve Spurrier has come up with a name for his offensive unit at South Carolina: “Cock ‘n’ Fire.” It implies explosiveness, much as the Fun ‘n’ Gun offense did when he was at Florida. The problem is that Florida was better equipped and South Carolina is primarily a running team.

“It might be firing on the ground,” Spurrier said in The State newspaper. “But at least we’ll be firing forward.”

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Trust fund: Former NFL linebacker Bryan Cox was among those who bet on 50-1 shot Giacomo to win the Kentucky Derby, after being persuaded to do so by his friend and the winning jockey, Mike Smith.

“Mike kept telling me to put my money down,” Cox told the Louisville Courier-Journal. “I kept saying, ‘Mike, I’m looking at the [Racing Form] and he don’t look like much.’ Mike told me to trust him.”

That trust was worth $4,250 for a $150 win-place-show bet.

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The doctor is in: Ace Hoffstein, a.k.a. the shot doctor, will be inducted this week into the Delaware State Athletic Hall of Fame.

The former coach travels the country as a shooting instructor and has worked with such stars as Juwan Howard, Jason Kidd and Grant Hill.

“I’ve been in 33 states in the last four years. I must be doing something right, “ Hoffstein, 83, told the Arizona Daily Star. According to his resume, he once made 578 consecutive free throws during a six-hour span.

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Gallows humor: From Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: “Judging by the way Kellen Winslow Jr. gimped out of the hospital -- nine days after his motorcycle mishap -- the second-year tight end might not be much help to the Cleveland Browns this season. Unless they can figure out a way to get him the ball in crutch situations.”

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Trivia answer: Spectacular Bid in 1979.

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And finally: Chicago Tribune columnist Mike Downey on Yogi Berra turning 80 last week: “I’m sure if you ask Yogi about being an octogenarian, he will tell you he’s probably too old to try it.”