Thankfully, Ocean Is Too Polluted for an Underwater UFO Base

He has moved to Northern California and doesn’t have to worry about such things, but my old friend Jeff Bliss was thoughtful enough to alert me to a report of an underwater UFO base down this way.

In its February issue, Fate magazine said the little green men -- I suppose in these enlightened times there must be little green women too -- are submerged somewhere off the coast between Santa Barbara and Long Beach.

This is preposterous, I’m sure you’ll agree. How could a UFO base survive the pollution in our local waters?

UFOs (cont.): Fate magazine says the underwater base claim isn’t new. One researcher told the publication that at least as far back as the 1960s, sunbathers reported seeing UFOS and, “by the 1970s, whole families were going down to the beach at Point Dume at night to watch the multicolored UFOs [that] would sink under the water at times.”

Hmmm. The 1960s and ‘70s. I had friends back then who saw all sorts of visions, too.

As for ISOs (Identified Sitting Objects) ... : Bob Patterson of Just Above Sunset online magazine spotted a manhole cover in Venice that traveled farther than most tourists (see photo). Now that I think of it, I wonder if the UFO witnesses might have mistaken some Venetians for Venusians?

Letter imperfect: Diane Rivera of Buena Park found a motel that evidently gives discounts to Alcoholics Anonymous members (see photo).

Thanks for the warning: Speaking of life on the road, Tom Greene of L.A. wrote: “I travel a lot around the country with my huge dog, so I’m always looking for motels that will accept dogs. Sometimes I’m met with some hostile words and other times they welcome them with open arms. However, I never met one before that welcomes them with a deep dish skillet! Yikes!” (see accompanying).

The nerve: A company that advertised a no “sale” tax for President’s Day drew the ire of Judy Knobel of Thousand Oaks. “Now we need to pay tax for not buying anything?” she asked.

Attention, UCLA fans ... : During a Harlem Globetrotters performance at the Anaheim Pond, a (microphoned) player yelled to one referee: “You don’t know how to count. You must have gone to USC.” The Orange County crowd laughed heartily.

miscelLAny: Imagine my surprise when I looked at the Wikipedia website for my old high school and saw a listing for a well-known actor/comedian with the same name as mine (see accompanying). I researched the matter and discovered there must have been a mix-up; the other Harvey attended high school in Cleveland. I think I can still claim I’m the most famous Steve Harvey to attend Hamilton High in the 1960s.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.