That’s Why It’s Not Called Hall of Saints

It should prove interesting when Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, etc., whose feats will forever be associated with alleged steroid use, become eligible for Hall of Fame consideration.

Does character count? Well, it hasn’t always when candidates were voted into Cooperstown. Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Examiner recently reviewed the Hall’s yearbook and came up with an All-Dysfunctional team. Among his enshrined bad guys:

* Cap Anson: “Character-wise, the Capster was a midget among midgets. He didn’t single-handedly keep baseball lily-white for 50 years, but he was the leader of that philosophical movement.”

* Gaylord Perry: “Of Perry, the HOF yearbook says he excelled because of ‘Distracting and frustrating hitters through an array of rituals on the mound ... ‘ Rituals, schmituals. Perry loaded up baseballs like Dagwood loaded up sandwiches. It’s called cheating.”

* Ty Cobb: “He’s the team captain and MVP (Most Virulent Personality). Once climbed into the stands to assault a one-armed heckler. Punched out a black groundskeeper, then choked the man’s wife. Said to have killed a man. Yadda yadda. When Bonds and McGwire come up for HOF vote, their ace in the hole is the Peach’s mug on that Cooperstown plaque.”

Trivia time: Who holds the all-time record for rebounds in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament?

Pigskin follies: Pigs are being trained for running, swimming and “pig-ball” competition at the Sport Pig Centre in Russia, ananova.com reported.

“They are going through general training and only after that will they take up different specialist sports,” said Alexei Sharshkov, vice president of the Federation of Sport Pig Breeders. “The piglets are being looked after by coaches and zoo psychologists.” Apparently, the craze is not limited to Russia, as thousands attended last year’s Pig Olympics in Shanghai.

Crazy days: While the basketball association of the term “March Madness” dates back to the Illinois high school tournament in 1939, reader Sidney Williams of La Canada pointed out that the idea is even older.

The phrase “Mad March days” appears in “Cargoes,” written by England poet laureate John Masefield (1878-1967). It appeared in his 1910 collection “Ballads and Poems.”

Also, don’t expect anybody to ignore the warning to “beware the Ides of March” from Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar.” Unless, say, they’re picking Gonzaga to reach the Final Four.

Looking back: On this date in 1876, Marshall Jones Brooks of the University of Oxford in England became the first to clear six feet in the high jump.

Trivia answer: Elvin Hayes of Houston, 222, in three seasons from 1966-68.

And finally: Blogger Trent McBride wrote that he will prove wrong the “Game of Shadows” authors, who scoff at the notion that somebody can put on 15 pounds of lean muscle in three months without the use of steroids. His only regret? “Why didn’t I think of this when people said there’s no way Wilt Chamberlain could have slept with 20,000 women?”