Dallas Has Probably Bought Some Trouble

If it were just about scoring touchdowns, the Dallas Cowboys signing Terrell Owens would be the undisputed best move of the NFL off-season.

As we were reminded throughout an alternately tense and entertaining news conference Saturday, it’s not just about touchdowns.

Sometimes it’s about interceptions, as when Cowboy owner Jerry Jones picked off a question for Owens to nitpick a reporter’s word choice.

And sometimes it’s about extra points, as when agent Drew Rosenhaus felt compelled to tack on his thoughts as Owens waited to answer the query addressed to him.

Owens never did get the chance to reply, which makes you wonder how long he’ll be content to sit back and smile on a team where the owner is on the radio more than Jim Rome and the coach has the final say, always, period.

It’s a good thing Texas Stadium has a hole in the roof, because there’s no way all three of those egos could fit in an enclosed structure.

We didn’t get a test run Saturday because Bill Parcells wasn’t around.

Could we have a more combustible collection of personalities?

Well, Keyshawn Johnson’s nameplate and some practice gear were still in his locker, even though the Cowboys waived him last week. Steve Jones wouldn’t rule out a return of Johnson, so feel free to imagine Keyshawn and T.O. giving quarterback Drew Bledsoe stereophonic shouts in the huddle.

What makes the Owens signing so great is there are limitless scenarios that could unfold, even if we don’t share Rosenhaus’ distinct optimism that “it’s going to have a very happy ending. Just watch.”

It actually makes sense for the Cowboys, who were in the middle of the NFL pack in passing offense last season and missed the playoffs for the second consecutive year and fifth time in six years and haven’t won a playoff game in a decade. They aren’t tampering with the chemistry of the team on the brink of a Super Bowl, as the Denver Broncos were.

When he’s on the field, Owens is as good a receiver as there is, averaging 15 yards a catch and 10 touchdowns a year for his career. Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb had the best seasons of their careers when they were throwing to Owens.

And if so much of his frustration last year with Philadelphia was rooted in his demand for more money, he should be happy with Dallas’ three-year, $25-million contract that puts him among the highest paid receivers.

The problem with imagining a problem-free future for Owens is that requires complete ignorance of his history. There’s a reason the San Francisco 49ers and Philadelphia Eagles got rid of him without seeking anything close to fair compensation in return. He was disrespectful to his quarterbacks and defiant to his coaches. The ultimate individual in the ultimate team sport.

And, just like that, Owens expects it all to go away.

“It starts today,” he said. “The things that happened in the past

“Of course I’ve made some mistakes. That’s a lesson that I’ve learned throughout this whole ordeal.”

At one point he turned to Jones and said, “I know what’s expected of me, and I won’t disappoint you.”

He has yet to make such a promise to Bledsoe, who had some exchanges with Johnson last year but is trying to keep an open mind about Owens. Remember, Owens didn’t just complain that his previous quarterbacks didn’t get them the ball. He questioned their character, openly speculating about Garcia’s sexual orientation and McNabb’s loyalty to ownership over his teammates.

“Yeah, I’m going in with my eyes wide open,” Bledsoe said in a conference call. “I know there have been some issues. I don’t see the positive in dwelling on the experiences of the past.”

OK, let’s look at the positives: Do you realize the entertainment value of having America’s most vilified football player on its most loved and loathed football team?

The local cynics thought Jones was just trying to steal attention again, eager to grab headlines away from the NCAA tournament, the World Baseball Classic, who knows, even the war in Iraq.

“This was not done cavalierly,” he said. “It was not done because we wanted to be on the front page of papers. It was done because we looked at it strictly from the standpoint of what Terrell can bring to the table.”

Well, one of the things he brought to the table Saturday, seated to his right, was Rosenhaus. And yes, it’s great to have Rosenhaus with another national forum. At this point he’s a cartoon, an exaggerated image of the Despicable Agent.

I wonder if he even believes it himself when he makes statements such as calling the signing “a historical moment” and describing the new union as “a match made in heaven.”

He’s such a suck up, he laughed and patted Owens on the back when Owens told the Cowboy fans to “get your popcorn ready,” and then tapped Owens’ leg when Jones described how Owens’ past performances against the Cowboys were reason enough to sign him.

Then Rosenhaus described the nascent Jones-Owens relationship by saying: “These guys have fallen in love already. On the jet here the bond that they established -- and I’m referring to Terrell and Jerry -- was moving. Moving!”

I love Jones too. He’s so image-conscious that his opening statement was all about selling the idea to the media and Cowboy fans who still haven’t forgotten Owens mocking the star at midfield when he was a 49er.

Jones repeatedly talked about the need for businessmen to take risks, at one point saying: “This isn’t buying bonds. This isn’t an old maid’s portfolio we’re dealing with.”

Later, he explained: “I want our fans to understand the logic. They may not agree with my decision or our decision, but I want them to understand the logic.... It’s very important to me that nobody thinks I’m oblivious or I’m not sensitive or I just don’t care. It’s just the opposite.”

We understand. He cares so much that he made a desperate move. The one thing Jones -- or the entire NFL, really -- can’t have is for the Cowboys to be irrelevant.

That’s the one thing we can guarantee won’t happen with Owens around.

J.A. Adande can be reached at j.a.adande@latimes.com. To read more by Adande, go to latimes.com/adandeblog.