Colorful ties are in, choking mistresses is out

Grover Norquist, head of Americans for Tax Reform, on why the Republicans lost a House seat in Pennsylvania, as reported in the Financial Times:

“Bob Sherwood’s seat would have been overwhelmingly ours if his mistress hadn’t whined about being throttled,” Norquist said. Any lessons for the campaign? “Yes. The lesson should be: Don’t throttle mistresses.”

Newly elected Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.), quoted in the Minneapolis Star Tribune:

“My No. 1 goal is to not go to jail.”

Excerpts from a press release issued by “Grooming Lounge,” a men’s barbershop and spa with outlets in downtown Washington and northern Virginia:

Now that Democrats are taking back some power on the Hill, Washingtonians can expect some sweeping style updates.

Updated, Style-Conscious Looks: With Democrats in power, personal style choices will be much more respected.

Longer, Looser & More Textured Hair Styles: Democrats have long been associated with textured hairstyles that move with the wind and show some extra personality. After several years of super-short, ultra-coiffed styles, many men will be glad to embrace a more relaxed look.

Colorful, Bold Prints on Ties: Red ties are a bit cliche. Yes, red means power, but the right bold printed or brightly colored tie speaks to self-confidence and demands it.... You shouldn’t be afraid of striped shirts or colorful ties.

Visit Your Grooming Expert Often: If you are trying to grow your hair out, visit your barber often to have your hair shaped and avoid awkward grow-out stages.

Don’t Go Too Far -- This Is Still D.C.: Follow trends in moderation or risk not being taken seriously.