Give a Man Enough Rope and He’ll Get to Work on Time

You think you’re in a hurry in the morning? The Star News, an L.A. County Sheriff’s publication, carried this report of an emergency phone call from a guy in a rush: “Male found someone breaking into his vehicle. He tied suspect to a tree and left because he had to go to work.”

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Plunging ahead: I’ve written before about how the affluent residents of quiet Laguna Beach manage to keep the police busy with special requests. Folks are not above calling from out of town, for instance, to say they’ve left water boiling on the stove or a pie baking in the oven and could officers please stop by and take care of the problem?

Still, I was surprised the other day when Robert Altman of Westminster told me about a notice in a Laguna Beach building. The notice suggested that anyone spotting a toilet overflow should call the cops (see accompanying). Sure, some police departments on the coast have frogman units, but this seemed a bit extreme.

So I called Laguna Beach police and was told that the department was listed as the contact only because it’s open 24 hours a day and can contact Municipal Services.

The cops don’t have to do all the dirty work in town.

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Multi-tasking: Speaking of restrooms and problems: Susan Tellem of Malibu saw an unusual juxtaposition of signs in a Dallas airport (see photo).

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Cold property: In La Verne, Michael Grossman chanced upon a street name that prompted him to say: “In some parts of L.A. County, the real estate market is really dead” (see photo) .

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Saying good-bye: “Stay classy, San Diego” was the sign-off of bumbling TV personality Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) in the movie “Anchorman.” Possibly inspired by the popularity of the film, CBS’s Katie Couric is seeking her own sign-off and has asked viewers to post suggestions on www.cbsnews.com.

Here are a few that were already taken:

* “And that’s the up-to-the-minute news, up to the minute, that’s all the news.” (George Putnam).

* “And that’s the way it is.” (Walter Cronkite).

* “And so it goes.” (Linda Ellerbee).

* “Good night and good luck.” (Edward R. Murrow).

* “Good day.” (Paul Harvey).

* “Good night and good news.” (Ted Baxter, the fictional boob on “The Mary Tyler Moore” show).

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Saying good-bye (cont.): Couric better be careful. When a predecessor, Dan Rather, tried “Courage” as a sign-off, he was mocked by the media and competitors. Bryant Gumbel of NBC’s “Today” came up with such alternatives as “Mazel tov” and “Hot dogs.” Rather dropped “Courage” a few days later.

The greatest tag line, of course, belonged to the late disc jockey Emperor Bob Hudson, who would proclaim, “Get off the freeways, peasants, His Highness is coming.”

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miscelLAny: Among the relics in the window of the Museum of Neon Art in downtown L.A. is an antique Pep Boys sign, so identifiable by the cigar that Manny is puffing on. As a more modern shot of the trio indicates, Manny has given up smoking (see photos).

I hear that Moe and Jack couldn’t stand the odor.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.