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This gnome is where Steelers hearts are

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Times Staff Writer

They say Pittsburgh Steelers fans travel well, and we know that, but what about the garden gnome who attended the Steelers’ home opener?

“Gnomey” the garden gnome, gone missing from Allen Snyder’s yard in Morgantown, W. Va., since spring, was spotted at the Steelers’ 28-17 victory over Miami on Sept. 10. Snyder received photographic evidence in the mail, a picture of “Gnomey” standing next to a yellow-and-black Steelers Terrible Towel.

Snyder doesn’t know who stole his gnome but suspects it might be one of his prank-loving friends.

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He has received letters from “Gnomey,” including one with a photo of the lawn ornament in the back of a police car asking for bail money.

Given that experience, “Gnomey” is rumored to be next headed to a Cincinnati Bengals home game.

Trivia time

Who is the shortest player in NFL history?

Everybody has advice

After President Bush visited the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ practice Thursday and gave quarterback Chris Simms a few tips, Coach Jon Gruden told the Associated Press: “Hopefully it works. If it doesn’t work out this week, he can call the president to see what happened.”

Six of one

This week, Tennessee Coach Jeff Fisher accused former Titans quarterback Billy Volek of “throwing the organization under the bus.”

While wondering if the organization was intercepted, Briefing makes a few NFL picks:

* Washington over Houston: Texans have lost 10 of their last 13 home games. That’s why they call it Reliant Stadium.

* Chicago over Minnesota: All of Chicago going wild over Rex Grossman’s 128.7 passer rating. “Big deal,” say Vikings, “our punter’s passer rating is 158.3.”

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* Indianapolis over Jacksonville: Jaguars did to Steelers on Monday night what city of Jacksonville did to Super Bowls in February 2005.

* Cincinnati over Pittsburgh: Cry goes up over Heinz Field: “We want Batch!”

* Carolina over Tampa Bay: Who is Bruce Gradkowski and why are Tampa Bay fans calling for him to replace Simms? Oh, right, now we remember.

* Miami over Tennessee: Kerry Collins’ passer rating last week against San Diego was 1.3. Even the worst peanut vendors go better than 9.5.

Half-dozen of the other

As the Ravens revisit the town they abandoned and new Browns fans demand a refund, Briefing has time for six more picks:

* Baltimore over Cleveland: Browns tight end Kellen Winslow cries to coaches, “Open it up! Open it up!” Finally, Romeo Crennel gives in and unlocks the men’s room door.

* Seattle over New York Giants: Still in Manning Bowl hype mode, New York football scribes ponder more big brotherly questions. Can Matt Hasselbeck hold onto a lead? Can Tim Hasselbeck hold onto a clipboard?

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* New England over Denver: Jake Plummer turns 32 in December; his passer rating turned 38.6 last week.

* Arizona over St. Louis: Rams get another look at their onetime star quarterback. Remember when Marc Bulger used to throw touchdown passes?

* Philadelphia over San Francisco: Eagles win the So Glad We’re Done With 81 Bowl.

* Detroit over Green Bay: Going for safer waters this week, Detroit’s Roy Williams guarantees Lions will punt.

Trivia answer

Jack “Soapy” Shapiro, 5 feet 1/2 inch, is believed to be the shortest player to appear in an NFL game. And that’s all he had -- one game, appearing as a blocking back for the 1929 Staten Island Stapletons in a 34-0 victory over the Minneapolis Red Jackets.

And finally ...

Oakland Athletics designated hitter Frank Thomas, on being presented the Bill Rigney Good Guy Award by the Bay Area chapter of the Baseball Writers of America:

“Shocker. I’ve never gotten anything for cooperating before.”

*

mike.penner@latimes.com

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