It’s la vida loca, minus the loca

BEFORE coming to Vegas, comedian Artie Lange expected the Saturday night of his sold-out show at the Hard Rock was going to be a wild party.

As Lange’s legions of fans from “The Howard Stern Show” know, that can be a scary thing. As Lange has repeatedly told me in interviews in the year-plus since we first met: His weight has ballooned 100 pounds, he has switched from a heroin problem to a drinking problem, and last time he was in Vegas (for two sold-out shows at the Luxor on Super Bowl weekend), he hired a hooker, something he likes to do while in Vegas. Lange says the primary reason he no longer has a gambling problem is that he now earns too much money to gamble away.

Meanwhile, Lange’s career has never been more successful. His movie “Beer League” gets its television premiere on Comedy Central this month, and Lange says he has been able to command at least $100,000 for many venues for his touring stand-up.

I wound up in the green room just as the openers were starting. Lange was sitting in a corner writing material. “Why would an atheist care about global warming? Is that funny or does that not make sense?” He was talking to his assistant Ted and me. He decided the bit needed more work. “I have something coming up in New York; I may have this one figured out by then. It is going to take time to work out the concept.” But he wrote another joke he decided to use, one about going to his former coke dealer’s daughter’s bat mitzvah while in Vegas. The crowd loved it.

It isn’t easy to open for Artie Lange. His audience frequently chants his name. It is a sign of Lange’s generosity that he even has opening acts. “Artie Lange is going to sell out without any opener. He doesn’t need to pay us to be here,” says one of the comic openers, Pete Dominick

I asked Lange if he got nervous before shows.

“A little. Not as bad as I used to. That was what heroin was great for.”

“Well, you still drink,” I said, because Lange has told me about his drinking.

“Drinking isn’t as good as heroin,” he said.

Once onstage at the Hard Rock, Lange drank with his audience. But backstage after the show it was water again until the after-party at Body English. This is when I expected, with some nervousness, to see Artie Lange, the legendary and dangerous debaucher and exploiter of every vice in Vegas. But I almost don’t have a story. At Body English, Lange looked exhausted. It was after 1 a.m. and his plan was originally to party until his flight left at 5 a.m. But his heart clearly wasn’t into the party. Lange mixed himself a drink, mostly water. Then he ignored it and drank just bottled water.

The worst thing I saw Lange do in Vegas was smoke a cigarette.

Among his roughly dozen-person entourage were two friends from the Stern show (known as JD and John the Stutterer).

If Lange had a vice this Vegas trip, it’s that he is way too generous. I have never dealt with a celebrity who puts so little distance between himself and his fans. He had just changed his cellphone number because he gave his old number out on the Stern show the previous week. Yet he was yelling out his new cell number to people at Body English who seemed to have just met him. But really, Lange mostly looked tired and even sad.

I’d say he left within an hour of arriving at Body English. I can’t say for sure. But at around 2 a.m., Lange somehow vanished. Ted said Lange mentioned something about going to take a shower.

Grab a fork and head to . . . Reno?

When Charlie Palmer opened two restaurants in Las Vegas in 1999 (Aureole and Charlie Palmer Steak), he was among the first big-name chefs to open here. These days, the town boasts at least as many Palmer protégés, including celebrity chefs Michael Mina and David Burke. Palmer ranks Vegas among the top five food cities in the United States, tied with L.A.

Palmer is now expanding to Reno. Later this month, he opens Charlie Palmer Steak and Fin Fish, both at Grand Sierra Resort and Casino. So can Reno be the next Vegas for culinary pleasure? Even Palmer admits he is dubious. “But I like being a pioneer,” he says.

For the record, here are Charlie Palmer’s picks for the top five cities for foodies right now: New York, San Francisco, Chicago, then a tie between L.A. and Vegas.

For more of what’s happening on and off the Strip, see latimes.com/movable buffet.