With him ... or against him?

L.A. Times Archives

June 2, 2007 12 AM PT

Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe.

There. Enough already?

DON YLVISAKER

Woodland Hills

Kobe should stop watching the playoffs. It’s just getting him upset.

STAN KAPLAN

Santa Monica

How did the world get turned so upside down? In reality, shouldn’t it be Jerry Buss and Mitch Kupchak talking to the media about how they have to trade Kobe Bryant because he’s unable to help them bring a championship to Los Angeles?

RON YUKELSON

San Luis Obispo

Never mind trying to find out who was responsible for trading Shaq. Who is the genius responsible for advising Kobe to complain in public to the media instead of communicating in private with the Lakers’ owner and general manager? Must be someone in Lindsay Lohan’s entourage.

LEN LIPTON

Santa Monica

OK, Kobe, we believe you! Each time.

Stay? Go? Fight? Surrender? Rebuild? Yeah, I’m feeling dizzy and discouraged too. But then again, I don’t have $88.6 million to buy aspirin like you do.

Jerry ain’t coming West. And The Times’ “Fantasy Laker GM” has cut everyone but Jeanie and the Laker Girls. So then, let’s make you the GM. Kobe, given the salary cap and the upcoming draft, what exactly would you do? I’ve watched you score 81 points with three defenders in your grill. It would be a more amazing feat to see you juggle next season’s roster with the salary cap.

When you figure it out, because I know you will, please call me and let me know which sports radio talk show I should tune in to hear your thoughts.

KENNETH ONG

El Segundo

After single-handedly dismantling a Lakers dynasty over the course of his career, Kobe wants -- no, demands -- to be traded. The Lakers have bent over backward to coddle this spoiled brat through many unconscionable, idiotic actions. Including: the forced trade of Shaq, a rape trial, forcing Phil Jackson to quit, forcing Jerry West to quit.

Good, trade him somewhere nice like Toronto or Philly. I’d certainly like to be Mrs. Bryant’s jeweler right about now.

D.S. ADAM

Newhall

Haiku for Kobe:

Forgive Colorado,

Sellout crowds chant M-V-P,

Kobe’s an ingrate.

GREG FREITAS

Los Angeles

Trade Kobe? Are you kidding? He’s the only one left in the Lakers organization with a heartbeat. Jerry (I don’t mean West), it’s time to sell the franchise to someone who wants to live up to what the Lakers have taken decades to build.

Magic is worth enough money to buy the franchise. Magic plus Jerry West plus Kobe equal championships and restoring the proud tradition of the Lakers. Jerry Buss, get out of the bar and back to business.

ANTHONY E. BLEDSOE

Hawthorne

Just in case no one noticed, LeBron James, with a supporting cast not any better than Kobe’s, is one win away from an Eastern Conference title.

Trade the bum.

RICHARD ELLIOT

Los Angeles

I know how Mitch Kupchak can prove himself to be a shrewd general manager: Trade himself to the Memphis Grizzlies for Jerry West.

CRAIG P. FAGAN

San Diego

Front or back? Or back to the future? Kobe’s right in demanding that the Lakers bring Jerry West back, but why bring him back in the front office? Why not in the backcourt? Even at the advanced age of 69, he can probably still hit the jumper and he’s sure to ring up more assists than Kobe.

ALLEN E. KAHN

Playa del Rey

The owner of the team is arrested for DUI in the company of a female 51 years his junior ...

The owner’s son (and de facto team president) openly criticizes the head coach on a radio interview ...

The owner’s daughter has a personal relationship with the head coach ...

The head coach openly criticizes his players to the media ...

The star player is calling out the front office for misleading him and saying he wouldn’t mind being traded ...

And I thought the Chargers were the most dysfunctional team in Southern California.

JIM MESER

Simi Valley

“A Few Good Players” as portrayed by Gen. Jerry Buss (Jack Nicholson) and Lakers Fans (Tom Cruise).

Lakers Fans/Cruise: “General Buss, it appears you had absolutely no intention of immediately building a quality team of comparable skilled players around the defendant, one Kobe Bean Bryant. Is that true?”

Gen. Buss/Nicholson: “That’s not true. I did what I thought was best for the team.”

LF: “Hmmm. Well, then why would you pass on such established players as Carlos Boozer, Baron Davis, Ron Artest, Jason Kidd, and others too numerous to mention?”

GB: “I already told you. I did what’s best for the team!”

LF: “So, you basically lied and told Kobe Bryant what he wanted to hear.”

GB: “Look son! You have no idea what it takes to run a multimillion-dollar sports franchise. There’s an arena to fill, payrolls to meet, exorbitant player salaries to pay, trade deadlines, injuries. Little spoiled snotty-nosed punks like you have no idea. So back off!”

LF: “Did you lie to Kobe Bryant?!”

GB: “I gave you my answer.”

LF: “I want the truth!”

GB: “You can’t handle the truth!!!”

LF: “Did you lie to Kobe Bryant?”

GB: “You’re damn straight I did!!!”

(long pause)

LF: “The defense moves to drop all previous misconceptions and assumptions placed on the defendant Kobe Bean Bryant and to place Gen. Jerry Buss under a full investigation.”

Court adjourned.

RICK SOLOMON

Lake Balboa

The L.A. Times sports editors are the ones I blame for all these problems. They are the ones that break up L.A. sports teams and they seem to thrive on it. Forget about reporting news, create tabloid material instead, even at the expense of destroying a dynasty.

JIM KRUSE

Laguna Hills

Magic Johnson wears a Knicks jersey. Cal Ripken Jr. is traded to the Texas Rangers for three players to be named later. Larry Bird plays 15 playoff games for the Clippers. Kobe gets traded to whatever team he chooses.

Things like that may occur in the Bizarro world, but in real life Kobe isn’t going anywhere.

Dr. Buss? Mitch? The season starts in five months. Do something, please.

MARK J. FEATHERSTONE

Windsor Hills

I have to do a retake on Ray Allen’s quote on Oct. 14, 2004, in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

“If Kobe doesn’t see he needs 2 1/2 good players to be a legitimate playoff contender or win a championship, in about a year or two he’ll be calling out to Jerry Buss that ‘We need some help in here,’ or ‘Trade me,’ ” Allen said. “And we’ll all be saying, ‘I told you so,’ when he says that.”

Umm, he told us so.

TOM KINGSLEY

Las Vegas

Other than hitting the genetic lottery, what qualifies Jimmy Buss to wield such power in turning the Lakers into a laughingstock? First Jerry West, then Shaq, and now Kobe get “thrown under the Buss.” Heckuva job, Jimmy!

DAVID PEREZ

Pasadena

Kobe, you made this bed, now you have to sleep in it.

BRIAN HAUETER

Ventura

Kobe Bryant = Yoko Ono

RON WEBER

Windsor, Colo.

Of all NBA owners, it’s hard to understand why, back in 2004, Jerry Buss allowed Utah to outbid the Lakers for the services of Carlos Boozer.

JERRY SONDLER

Warwick, R.I.

Looks like Jerry Buss picked the wrong week to quit drinking.