The Chinese come up with a catchy slogan for Long Beach

Over the years, attention-hungry Long Beach has experimented with countless civic slogans, ranging from “The Most on the Coast” to “Opposites Attract,” “The Queen City” and “The International City.” Well, I think the city’s long search is over.

In a bookshop in Beijing, my colleague Mitchell Landsberg spotted a teenager in a shirt that said:

Khaki

Nothing Feel Like Long Beach

The best for your funny.

Forget about “The Most on the Coast.” “The Best for Your Funny” is much catchier.

Unreal estate: In “The Overlook,” Michael Connelly’s latest mystery, a murder on Mulholland Drive is witnessed by a clueless hippie from Canada who is looking for Madonna’s digs so he can get an autograph. He’s shocked when he finds out that, while the singer actually had a house up there (see accompanying), she sold the garishly painted mansion years ago. He’s shocked because, as he tells L.A. Police Detective Harry Bosch, he had just bought a map to the stars’ homes that showed she lived there. And if you can’t trust a map to the stars’ homes....

Unreal estate: Carole Weinman of Granada Hills saw an ad for another unusual house, one that seemed to have natural air conditioning (see accompanying).

Odd note: Near Sedona, Ariz., Violet Grass of Pasadena spotted a sign sponsored by a mariachi who evidently has a unique singing (and spelling) style (see photo).

Food for thought: After the Lakers flamed out in the NBA playoffs, as usual, David Chan of L.A. found what seemed to be a nostalgic tribute to the days when Jerry West was the team’s (non-complaining) star (see accompanying). Or maybe the menu was referring to the traditional Chinese dish of “West Lake Beef Soup.”

Lame Excuse of the Week: That award was granted by the Goleta Valley Voice to the man who was pulled over as he bicycled erratically down the street with a large black trash bag balanced on his handlebars. Santa Barbara County deputies, “noticing he was agitated and had eye tremors,” asked if he’d been using drugs. The man denied all, blaming the fact that he was a smoker. That and the fact that he tested positive for cocaine.

The growing problem of computers insulting humans: I recently mentioned how an e-mail of mine bounced back with the explanation: “64.111.207.5 does not like recipient.” Now Cal State Northridge professor Bruce Lammers tells me that he received this message: “Sending of password did not succeed. Mail server pop.csun.edu responded: Can’t connect to back-end.”

Said Lammers: “I still haven’t figured out whose back-end was unconnected or how to fix the problem.”

miscelLAny: Film historian Rick Mitchell saw this ad, placed by a Westside company on craigslist.com: “Seeking conscious Special Effects Artists.” Hey, it’s a start.

I just wish more people in Hollywood were “conscious” of what constitutes a good movie.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.