Feeling the pain of somebody else’s victory

The Anaheim Ducks won the Stanley Cup the other night. Didn’t watch the game. I turned on the TV and watched the players and Orange County crowd exult at game’s end. The on-ice celebration that caps the Stanley Cup series is one of the great visual moments in sports, but I didn’t feel a thing.

At least, not a good thing.

Tonight, they’re having a rally for the Ducks at the Honda Center. More joy and merriment is sure to ensue.

Not going. Got other plans.

What are those plans? In broad strokes, they are to wallow in misery. Nothing specific, just kind of a generic wallowing. Jimmy Carter might call it malaise.

It’s not the Ducks’ fault, except for in this way: the Ducks’ success only serves to remind me of the abysmal failure of the one professional team to which I’ve given everything -- the Pittsburgh Pirates.

The Pirates are a baseball team, but not in the sense that UC Irvine and Cal State Fullerton are baseball teams. Those are teams that know what they’re doing.

The Pirates, on the other hand, haven’t had a winning season since 1992, with the season ending a few weeks before Bill Clinton won the presidency. In contrast, the Ducks were founded in 1993 and have made it to Stanley Cup finals twice in the last five years, capped by this season’s ultimate success.

While the Ducks are popping champagne, the Pirates are popping up to the second baseman.

You’d have to be a die-hard to understand the pain in sports fans such as me, who watch their favorite teams flounder year after year.

It’s not just that the Pirates lose and the Ducks win.

It’s how the franchises go about their business. Last year, the Ducks knew they were good but wanted to get better to win the cup. So, they traded for Chris Pronger, who, when he isn’t leveling opponents on the ice, is a terrific player.

Oh, the Pirates have made deals, all right -- even some decent ones when the law of averages dictated. But there’s not a resident in Pittsburgh outside the owner who thinks that management is trying hard to win a championship. Or, assuming it wants to, has the slightest idea how to do it.

In Anaheim, it’s just the opposite.

Under the ownership of Orange County high-tech mogul Henry Samueli, the Ducks have shown they’ve got what it takes. The Angels won the World Series in 2002 under the Disney Co.’s mantle, and the franchise’s commitment to winning has continued under Arte Moreno’s reign.

It isn’t inconceivable that the Angels could make Anaheim the center of the sports universe by winning the World Series this year.

In Pittsburgh, there’s near mutiny among Pirate fans. The franchise is one of the oldest in sports, but Honus Wagner would be turning over on his $2.3 million baseball card if he saw what was going on in the city he helped put on the sports map.

Pirate apologists note that baseball, unlike the other major sports, has no salary cap and that so-called small-market teams such as Pittsburgh have no chance. There is an “aargh” factor when you consider the Pirates’ Opening Day payroll was about $37 million and that in this weekend’s interleague play, the Buccos are playing the Yankees, with their $200-million payroll.

A disparity, yes, but other low-payroll teams have been in contention in recent years. Besides, the Yankees haven’t won a World Series since 2000, despite outspending everybody.

And while it’s only June, another Pirate season appears doomed. At the moment, they’re nine games under .500, and so am I.

So, as you Ducks fans tear the roof off the Honda Center tonight, thank your lucky stars not so much for a championship but for having a front office that knows which end is up.

If you can, imagine yourself being a Pirates fan this past week instead. Major League Baseball held its 2007 draft and the Pirates, staring at a 15th consecutive losing season, had the lofty fourth overall pick.

And who was drafted to help reverse the team’s perennial misfortunes?

A slugger? A strong-armed starting pitcher?

Nope. Someone projected to be a relief pitcher.

In his worst moments, Jimmy Carter never imagined a malaise like this.

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. He can be reached at (714) 966-7821 or at dana.parsons@latimes.com. An archive of his recent columns is at www.latimes.com/parsons.