A little green worsens the red-light blues

A Cal State Long Beach employee was stopped at a red light when another driver came up from behind, honking his horn. The impatient motorist finally pulled out and tried to cross the intersection against the red light, but struck another car. When the Cal State worker went to offer assistance, the red-light runner handed him a $100 bill and asked him to say the light had been green.

Police arrived, whereupon the Cal State worker told them about the bribe attempt and handed over the C note. “Hey,” the red-light violator yelped. “What are you telling the cops?”

That’s when the Cal State employee, who was out of uniform, identified himself as a campus cop. Oops!

To live and drive in L.A. (cont.): Speaking of being in a rush, Henk Friezer of Eagle Rock spotted a startling speed limit sign in South Pasadena (see photo).

Paul Gray of Irvine, meanwhile, read about a Lexus that has a unique feature -- it’s so sensitive that it falls to pieces when it spots a pedestrian (see accompanying).

Finally, in Downey, Jim Walker found a carwash that has made the week go by a lot faster -- it’s now just six days long (see photo).

It’s all a shell game: Adrienne Omansky conducts an L.A. city-sponsored acting class for seniors. The novices learn what they’ve always heard -- it’s a tough business. Larry Sorensen, for instance, got a part on the MTV comedy “The Andy Milonakis Show” and was thrilled when he was given a script that contained many lines for “Larry.”

He memorized his dialogue, but when it came time to perform he was given a turtle’s costume, including a head covering. It would have given Olivier problems. Worse, Sorensen learned that his dialogue was for another “Larry,” an actor from New York.

Sorensen’s only line: “Eek!” At least he had no trouble learning it.

The world’s least subtle shoplifter: The crime log of the Aliso Viejo News said a 50ish man was caught inside a store “trying to open electric shaver packages with a screwdriver.” I suppose he could have contended that he was a repairman.

Food for thought: As you know, Westsiders are very concerned about fitness. And some Girl Scouts selling cookies outside a Pacific Palisades market were obviously aware of this fact. Resident Liz Stein heard one 8-ish girl enumerate the various types of sweets available, then add: “And none of them have trans fats.”

miscelLAny: KNX-AM (1070) radio’s Randy Kerdoon reports that the Lingerie Bowl, a game featuring young women in undergarments that is shown on cable stations the day of the Super Bowl, will leave its home in L.A. and move to Glendale, Ariz., next January.

“Just another football team saying goodbye to the Coliseum,” Kerdoon lamented.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.