In this case, a release is a good deal

First came NFL Europe. Now NFL Penitentiary? The same concept, only the food isn’t as good.

In a 24-page letter to league officials, attorneys for the Tennessee Titans’ Adam “Pacman” Jones said that at least 283 NFL players have been arrested or charged with offenses since 2000. That’s enough to stock six teams, not counting Rex Grossman, whose performance in the Super Bowl has been described as criminal by Chicago Bears fans.

You can already hear the ad ka-ching for the Longest Yard Bowl. The Joey “the Clown” Lombardo Trophy instead of the Vince Lombardi Trophy. Players wearing stripes instead of the referees. And, pul-lease, Burt Reynolds as commissioner, not Adam Sandler.

Hey, the Bud Bowl worked, didn’t it?

Trivia time

Who were the first players suspended for an entire NFL season?

Feel like a number

Jones’ attorneys, meanwhile, were seeking an upon-further-review ruling, arguing that the suspension was based on three arrests in 2006.

While Jones would not be the first player described as a triple threat, the letter did neglect to mention two other arrests since the Titans drafted him in April 2005. Nor did the letter refer to the 10 times Jones has been interviewed by police in the last two years.

But, hey, who’s counting? Oh wait, Jones’ attorneys are.

Man bites dog; player heckles fan

A few Cleveland Indians fans were enjoying a typical night at the ballpark (a couple of beers, a few dogs, one or two inappropriate comments to an opposing player), when one had the audacity to ask Toronto Blue Jays center fielder Vernon Wells for a ball.

“He said that [the Minnesota Twins’] Torii Hunter had given him a ball,” Wells told the Toronto Sun.

Wells topped Hunter, when he came out the next inning and tossed the fan a personalized baseball that read, “Here’s your ball, now please tell me what gas station you work at so I can come and yell at you when you’re working. Please sit down, shut up and enjoy the game. From your favorite center fielder, Vernon Wells.”

Chalk it up to going to the Wells once too often.

Sorry Rickey, we lost your number

Proving that fans will be fans, even when they are former players, Rickey Henderson snagged a foul ball, then refused to give it to a young fan during the New York Mets-San Francisco Giants game Monday, though he did sign a ball the fan already had.

“Everybody was asking me for the ball,” Henderson said in the Newark Star-Ledger. “I said, ‘You’re not getting this ball. I always wanted to get a foul ball. This one’s going on a shelf at home.’ ”

Henderson used the attention to announce his comeback desires.

“I’m going to look at it at the end of the year,” Henderson said. “I might come out with some crazy stuff, a press conference telling every club, ‘Put me on the field with your best player and see if I come out of it.’ If I can’t do it, I’ll call it quits at the end.”

Well, we know he’s better than a few fans at AT&T; Park.

It’s in the game

EA Sports has worked out a deal with the Weather Channel to have real-time weather conditions included in its NCAA Football ’08 game -- if there’s snow in South Bend, Ind., there’s going to be snow on your monitor.

Next up, a deal with law enforcement officials for Madden ‘08? Police occasionally come onto your screen and haul away a key player, forcing a lineup adjustment.

Trivia answer

Green Bay’s Paul Hornung and Detroit’s Alex Karras, who sat out the 1963 season for gambling on games.

Karras later received a more severe banishment, a four-year sentence to the TV show “Webster.”

And finally

From “Top 10 Ways Paris Hilton Is Preparing for Jail” on David Letterman’s show on Tuesday:

“Attending Tampa Bay Devil Rays games to get used to solitary.”

chris.foster@latimes.com