R. Kelly pops back; more grown men in pirate pants

You’ll be talking about: R. Kelly’s “Double Up.” For people who thought “Trapped in the Closet” was the ironic high point of this troubled but brilliant artist’s career, we have two words: “Ignition Remix.” Kells has a pop gift, and we’re glad he’s stopped that bizarre operatic saga and gotten back to the business of making fun musical gems. (Tuesday).

You won’t believe you’re talking about: “Pirate Master.” Just when you thought reality television couldn’t get any more idiotic, along comes “The Littlest Groom” or “Wife Swap,” or the second season of “I Love New York” to prove you wrong. This summer we get “Pirate Master” on CBS, about 16 modern-day “pirates” who embark on a high-seas adventure in search of hidden treasure. As a bonus, it’s pandering as well. (Thursday).

We suggest you talk about: “Crazy Love.” After you see “Knocked Up” a few times this coming weekend (once may not be enough), check out the story of another crazy couple in this documentary by former PR guru Dan Klores. The film tells the story of Burt and Linda Pugach, who managed to make their relationship work even after he blinded her in a fit of rage. (Friday)

You could talk about: Miss Universe 2007. The beauty pageant lives -- on NBC! This week 80 young women from around the world pit their bikini- and evening gown-wearing abilities against one another in Mexico City in a battle for the Miss Universe crown. The presenters include pageant veteran Vanessa Minnillo and “Saved by the Bell” actor Mario Lopez. Bonus: This is the first time a beauty from Tanzania will compete. (Monday)

You might talk about: “Star Wars” maniacs. “Star Wars” turns 30 this year and to celebrate, Lucasfilm Ltd. and Gen Con LLC have launched a five-day “Star Wars” extravaganza at the Los Angeles Convention Center. Limited-edition action figures will, of course, be available. (Today and Monday)

-- Deborah Netburn