Vegas, stripped

DEPENDING on how you look at it, Las Vegas was either the creation of Mormons or the mob, and the town they willed out of the Nevada desert was either the city of God or the temple of mammon. Either way, the plain facts are these: In the mid-1800s, Mormons traipsed through this area, establishing a route from Utah to California and requiring a pit stop in between. With their modest adobe fort, they constructed the first permanent settlement in this once tree-lined oasis and started unsuccessfully proselytizing to the nomadic Native Americans. Voila, Sin City -- or some version thereof.

In fact, neither the Mormons nor the mobsters precisely founded Vegas. What the Mormons did establish is the Vegas experience: Their luck soon failed and they moved on (before returning later to cash in). What the mob did is cement its destiny, trading cowboy casinos, wagon-wheel chandeliers and Native American decor for swanky carpets, swimming pools and tuxedos -- the first residents to trade history for glitz. “They brought in architects and designers [to evoke] other resort cities,” says Michael Green, a history professor at the College of Southern Nevada. They also cashed in celebrity connections to offer world-class entertainment, an added flash the city needed to attract class and money -- people who “didn’t come to Vegas to stay in a Strip hotel and confuse it with a flophouse.”

From WWII on, Vegas became a nonstop juggernaut. Despite the hype, even during its has-been phase in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, when the rest of the country turned its nose up at the Fat Elvis the city had become, Vegas kept churning out huge profits. And thanks to Nevada’s libertarian streak (the state collects no income tax), it’s the nickel slots that fund education and law enforcement. That’s Vegas, mixing high and low purposes so naturally, it just seems natural.

Credit (or blame) Steve Wynn for pushing the city into the era de Cirque du Soleil. As gambling -- sorry, gaming -- became increasingly legal around the country, “Wynn understood Vegas had to have attractions,” Green says. The entrepreneur essentially single-handedly reinvigorated Vegas in 1989 with the Mirage, a grandiose palace that unleashed a regularly scheduled volcano, the first Cirque du Soleil Vegas show and a shark tank. Something for everyone, all of it spectacular. It also cost $630 million to construct (that’s jumped to $1 billion for newer comers) and needed to clear at least $1 million a day to cover operating costs. The ante thusly raised, there’s no time to quibble over how high or low your brow might be. Now in the Caesars Palace Forum, Christian Lacroix sits near a Stage Deli, while it costs $10,000 to spend the night atop the great green glowing MGM Grand, an opulence that overlooks the grungy Hooters parking lot. C’est Las Vegas.

Such Skylofts as these are reserved for high rollers, but beginning in the mid-’90s, gambling profits slipped to below 50% of the total money-grubbing. These days, it’s shopping, eating, drinking, sleeping and entertaining that rakes in the biggest bucks. “Everything’s changed in the last 10 years,” says Darcy Nielson, a lifelong resident and general manager of the Cristophe Salon. “It’s a massive change not just in who Vegas caters to. The dynamics of what Vegas was built on have shifted.” Indeed, those smoky, disorienting casinos can seem almost an afterthought these days.

Vegas is revamping itself, yet again, this time into a luxurious residential mecca (a record $33 million an acre for land changed hands on the Strip this year -- real estate agents heart Vegas) and the ultimate service economy. Rationalization has always served as the local currency, but now the city’s commodified experience has morphed into an insanely lucrative, heavily unionized, postindustrial Detroit. Or, a more benevolent Kuala Lumpur: A giant mall mothership composed of hundreds of smaller satellite malls.

About the only thing Vegas has failed at is making the city a family destination, which was the big push in the ‘90s. Says Nielson: “People want an adult town.” Well, they’ve got it, in both its traditional permutations: high (expensive, often tasteful) and low (relatively cheap, often entertainingly tasteless). Whether you’re on the glitzy Strip or Fremont Street, with its old-school patina of seediness, you will find something to engage your imagination.

For that reason alone, we had to invent it. From the beginning, Vegas was a very American sort of oasis, a judgment-free zone . . . and open to all comers.

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VEGAS WAS WRITTEN BY . . .

Richard Abowitz, Charlie Amter, August Brown, Chris Barton, Perry Crowe, Mindy Farabee, Jason Gelt, Jessica Gelt, Liam Gowing, Dean Kuipers, Pauline O’Connor, Enid Portuguez, Scott Sandell, Mary Kaye Schilling, Elina Shatkin and Margaret Wappler.

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ELVIS IMPERSONATORS

No other performer personifies Vegas more than Elvis. There are 93 impersonators working his legend; these two personify his hip-swiveling/chiseled and sequined/bloated best.

Highbrow

TRENT CARLINI: THE DREAM KING

(The Sahara)

Eerily authentic, Carlini yanks out all the stops in a velvety 85-minute show that includes 18 classic songs, a full band, two backup singers and a flurry of dazzling costume changes. Unlike most Elvis impersonators, who are content to represent just the white jumpsuit era, Carlini covers the whole spectrum of the King’s all-too-short career, from the ‘50s to the toilet-hugging end. www.saharalasvegas.com

Lowbrow

BIG ELVIS

(Bill’s Gamblin’ Hall and Saloon)

A super-sized hunk of burning love, Big Elvis represents -- in fact, magnifies (he’s much larger than Elvis ever was) -- the King’s final years. Backed by a drum machine, and (when he’s not seated on a massive throne), shaking like a bowl full of jelly, B.E. (Pete Vallee) masterfully croons and rocks his way through the legend’s biggest hits. One lucky audience member gets picked to play “Little Elvis,” which consists of strumming an inflatable guitar while wearing aviator shades and a bad wig. How lowbrow is that? Best of all, it’s free! www.billslasvegas.com

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ADULTS ONLY

There are ample opportunities to see men and women with little or no clothing, but are they entertaining?

Highbrow

FASHIONISTAS

(Planet Hollywood)

A modern dance interpretation (enhanced by a soundtrack from Tool to Led Zeppelin) of an epic porno movie of the same name, Vegas has never delivered anything as daring as this dialogue-free story of fetish and sexual exploration told by a gorgeous cast through music and dance. Easily the best erotic show on the Strip, and it isn’t even topless. www.fashionistastheshow.com

FORTY DEUCE

(Mandalay Bay)

Offering the same sweet burlesque action as the L.A. spot, plus waves of drunken girls gone wild taking the stage for impromptu amateur pre-shows, which nicely fills the two-plus hours between doors opening and start time. www.fortydeuce.com

Lowbrow

BITE

(Stratosphere Hotel)

Topless dancing vampires! Need we say more? Bite has a plot, in the loosest sense of the word: A man in a puffy shirt lords over a coven of dancing lady-vampires with white fangs and sparkly thongs who dance to a lot of classic rock. Because vampires love Styx. Thoroughly embraces the cheese. www.stratospherehotel.com

THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER

(Excalibur Hotel)

When you watch a chiseled Australian in a black banana hammock pour beer all over himself, leap onto a table full of screaming women, rip the glasses off of a mother’s face and shine them provocatively on the front of his thong, you have to ask yourself: Why don’t I go to male strip revues more often? www.thunderdownunder.com

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WEDDING CHAPELS

Vegas is still a great place for a quickie, whether you’re loaded (either definition works) or not.

Highbrow

WYNN

All the big hotels provide top-of-the-line wedding packages, though it’s hard to beat the Wynn’s “Elegant Affair” package. For $19,350 you get all sorts of classy, snazzy stuff, including a wedding consultant, two nights in a huge villa, photography, flowers and Champagne. There’s a Target nearby for the dress. www.wynnlasvegas.com

Lowbrow

WEE KIRK O’ THE HEATHER WEDDING CHAPEL

Nuptials at Vegas’ oldest continually operating chapel Wee Kirk o’the Heather have become a multigenerational family tradition. According to tender-hearted manager Robert Edmonds, that’s because there’s such “love in the walls” (and patterned maroon carpets and padded benches) of this converted 1926 home, where ceremonies are performed in the cozy former parlor. There’s also embossed gold satin wallpaper, a faux candle candelabra, pedestals of big, fluffy fake flowers and just enough bows. Elvis is available on demand, Scottish-themed costumes an option, and wedding rings start at $35. Or just say “I do” in under 10 minutes for $49.99. You can win that kind of cash at the penny slots. (800) 843-5266; www.weekirk.com

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GAMBLING

Casino-invited whales and celebs do their gambling far from the likes of us. And it’s not like we have to tell you where the casinos on the Strip are -- you’re probably still trying to find the exit. For us, it was about keeping it old school (and, OK, cheap).

Highbrow

PLAYBOY CLUB

(The Palms)

The table stakes are high, the view of the Strip unbeatable and men in suits lose all their money to bombshells in bunny ears. When the ladies gotta move, it’s up an escalator to Moon, a flossy but standard hard-banging dance club where hot-panted pros and amateurs alike get on the stripper poles. www.thepalms.com

Lowbrow

EL CORTEZ

Seedy Vegas is alive and well here, where $20 will buy you enough 25-cent chips to spend the whole night at the rowdy roulette tables. (And if you lose most of your fortune, a room goes for $52.) www.elcortezhotelcasino.com

PENNY SLOTS AT THE WESTERN

Only here can you insert and play a single copper penny, maximizing your gambling-dollar-to-free-drink ratio. The stakes might be low, but the sketchiness of Fremont Street’s east end provides a nice risking-your-life thrill. (800) 634-6703; western hotelcasino.com

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RESTAURANTS

Vegas now officially has better restaurants than L.A.--even if you never quite forget you’re in a hotel. Some favorites for every pocketbook:

Highbrow

L’ATELIER DE JOEL ROBUCHON

(MGM Grand)

Each tiny, French tapas-style masterpiece (like quail with foie gras) will break your heart -- and at an average of $30 a plate, maybe your wallet too. But the convivial, eat-at-the-bar temple is still a more economical way to sample the genius of Parisian phenom Robuchon; the main restaurant next door requires a second mortgage. (702) 891-7358; www.mgmgrand.com

B&B; RISTORANTE

(The Venetian)

Cozy as Babbo, its sister restaurant in New York, and with the same superb Italian wine and signature Mario Batali food -- including, yes, his divine Mint Love Letters. One gripe: the bombastic rock soundtrack. Entrees $19 to $100. (702) 266-9977; www.venetian.com

HACHI

(Red Rock Resort)

Created by Nobu Matsuhisa-trained chef Linda Rodriguez, the beautiful sushi (try the $65 omakase menu or an outrageous Hot Eel Dice roll) is complemented by a saucy sake sommelier happy to bring you crisp Seventh Heaven Masumi -- for a price ($180 a bottle). Note: The Red Rock resort is 30 minutes off the Strip. www.redrocklasvegas.com

NOB HILL

(MGM Grand)

Vegas keeps San Francisco’s heavenly organic-chic restaurant surprisingly real, albeit expensive (average check: $95 per person). Mashed potato fanatics, take note: There are five immaculately creamy varieties. Which one would Jesus try first? www.mgmgrand.com

BALLY’S STERLING BRUNCH

Cuisines collide in obscenely decadent fashion at this Caligula of Sin City buffets. Lobster with drawn butter, waffles and whipped cream, sliced pork roast, fresh sushi and Champagne? Worth the Rolaids. ($65) www.harrahs.com

CASA DI AMORE

When modern Vegas is all too much, take a complimentary (red) limo ride to the low-lighted and low-key Casa. Massively delicious entrees personably served up all night in old school lounge-y sumptuousness while George Bugatti’s Casio croons. Cost: $25 to $35 without wine. (702) 433-4967; www.casadiamore.com

JEAN PHILIPPE PATISSERIE

(The Bellagio)

If you can’t get a breakfast reservation at the justly celebrated Bouchon (Thomas Keller’s French bistro in the Venetian), the next best thing are the supersize-me croissants and pain au chocolat here. Delish takeout until midnight, including breathtaking desserts, fancy chocolates, gelato and excellent coffee (not so easy to find) -- if you can get past the tourists gawping at the chocolate fountain. www.bellagio.com

Lowbrow

WOLFGANG PUCK

(MGM Grand)

Pressed for time between shows (or marathon gambling sessions)? This fine middle ground between belly-busting buffets and high-limit dining will do you up fine. Grab a counter seat and you’re back to the slots in no time. www.mgmgrand.com

PEPPERMILL

Gargantuan portions, reasonable prices (no entree is more than $28) and unselfconsciously kitschy decor. But the real treat is the Fireside Lounge with floating fire pit -- sure to embolden the shyest lothario. 2985 Las Vegas Blvd. S., (702) 735-4177

HOFBRAUHAUS

Since it’s not in a hotel, you can actually see the sun while chowing down at this festive, moderately priced beer garden serving authentic Bavarian dishes like frische schweinshaxen ($19.95) and jagerschnitzel ($18.50). Rowdy polka bands play and much beer gets spilled during the occasional drinking contests. 4510 Paradise Road, (702) 853-2337

SURF N’ TURF

(Hooters)

With a crisp, generous salad, 10 ounces of juicy, grilled-to-order ribeye and a half-pound of fresh Alaskan king crab legs, this $16.99 meal might just offer the best payout on the Strip. www.hooterscasinohotel.com

CHINATOWN

Head 1.5 miles west of the Wynn to this modest but growing area, which is more like Asia town, what with Vietnamese, Korean, Malaysian and Filipino options. But outposts of such SGV faves as Sam Woo BBQ, Tea Station and Diamond Bakery help the strip malls live up to the name. Chinatown Plaza, 4215 Spring Mountain Road, www.lvchinatown.com

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KIDS OF ALL AGES

There’s plenty of good ol’ G-rated fun to be had in Vegas, and some of it doesn’t require one thin dime.

Highbrow

RICHARD PETTY DRIVING EXPERIENCE

Forget the vicarious semi-thrill of the Ride-Along packages ($99/$149) and cough up the $399 for the Rookie Experience, which gets you eight 165-mph laps around the Las Vegas Motor Speedway with your hands on the wheel. www.1800bepetty.com

Lowbrow

MINI GRAND PRIX

The Las Vegas Family Fun Center’s mini-Grand Prix racers do 65 mph, and if you have a valid driver’s license, you get to navigate the hairpin turns on the time-trial course yourself. A helluva lot of fun for $6.25 (take that, Richard Petty!). www.lvmgp.com

STRATOSPHERE RIDES

Should the thrill of dropping hundreds of dollars at a craps table start falling flat, the rides at the top of the Stratosphere tower will get your heart pounding again -- and at considerably lower cost. Best is the Big Shot, which flings you 160 feet into the air to a mind-scrambling free fall high above the Strip for $16.95. www.stratospherehotel.com

SIEGFRIED & ROY PLAZA

(Outside the Mirage)

Dedicated in 1997, this gleaming monument to the Mirage’s own “magicians of the century” (with tiger, naturally) now functions as a sort of memorial to the Strip’s fallen stars. With tourists stopping to pose for pictures or even somberly reflect, the brassy sculpture is like Vegas’ own mini Mt. Rushmore, only far more fabulous. www.mirage.com

FLAMINGO HABITAT

(Flamingo)

Exotic Chilean flamingos celebrate the color pink 24 hours a day in this lush outdoor habitat of islands, streams and sparkling waterfalls, competing for attention with a host of swans, ducks, koi and turtles. www.flamingolasvegas.com

CIRCUS CIRCUS ADVENTUREDOME

High above the Circus Circus casino floor, the Adventuredome is Pinocchio’s Pleasure Island on PCP. Competitive midway games, high-speed rides, creepy clowns and daring acrobatic acts, all of it free. www.circuscircus.com

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POOLS

A fabulous pool comes with the top hotels, but if you like a scene with your chlorine these stand out.

Highbrow

VENUS POOL

(Caesars Palace)

Never mind the boobs (it’s topless), this Roman-style pool is just nicely designed, upscale, restful (no kids) and you can get great food and well-made caipirinha. Mix of young hipsters in rock bands and old-school Euro rich people. Worth the $20 Saturday cover charge.

www .harrahs.com/casinos/caesars-palace /casino-misc/garden-of-the-gods-pool- oasis-detail.html

THE PALMS’ ‘DITCH FRIDAYS’

From May to September, hotties gather here in a ritualistic display of flesh and fratitude. Doors open at noon. At 11:59, see scores of models in bikinis and heels clack-clack-clacking through the parking garage as they run to get a chaise. www.pool-lasvegas.n9negroup.com

Lowbrow

THE TANK

(Golden Nugget)

You’re flying through a long tube, mostly nude, as gambling tables flash past, then you drop through a mess of real 6-foot sharks and are dumped, squealing, into the drink. No, it’s not another night at the poker table, it’s this clever new three-story water slide and upscale strategy of the Nugget on Fremont Street. www.goldennugget.com

THE RIVER POOL

(MGM Grand)

Grab a daiquiri, slip into an inner tube and drift in a large, meandering circle around an island of doughy sunbathers as gentle currents urge you along. A kiddie pool for hung-over adults. www.mgmgrand.com

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ART/MUSEUMS

We overheard a woman at the Paris Hotel say that now she didn’t have to go to Paris. It would have made us laugh harder 10 years ago; there’s actual cultcha in Vegas.

Highbrow

GUGGENHEIM HERMITAGE MUSEUM

(The Venetian)

Ensconced just past the Titian-gone-wild lobby of the Venetian, this surreally classy museum provides a welcome oasis from the stress of the Strip. Its austere, wood-paneled space (designed by Rem Koolhaas) and current exhibition of 37 Impressionist masterpieces (including Van Gogh, Monet and Picasso) act as an effective tonic for nerves jangled by the din of slot machines and eyes assaulted by flashy decor. www.guggenheimlasvegas.org

LAS VEGAS ART MUSEUM

This Smithsonian affiliate is a beacon of cutting-edge sophistication shining out from between two cookie-cutter residential developments 10 miles off the Strip. Open now until Dec. 30 is Diaspora, an exhibition of contemporary works curated by UNLV professor Dave Hickey. www.lasvegasartmuseum.org

Lowbrow

ATOMIC TESTING MUSEUM

No ironic space-age wackiness here. The Smithsonian’s sober guide to the nearby Nevada Test Site (blasts routinely shook downtown) features techie science explainers, a great photo exhibit by L.A. filmmaker Peter Kuran and bomb-blast simulations in the Ground Zero Theater. www.atomictestingmuseum.org

LIBERACE MUSEUM

Celebrities are so boring nowadays: None of them can hold a candle(abra) to Liberace, who didn’t just tickle the ivories, he tickled them pink. The befeathered, jewel-laden costumes and customized luxury cars on display here still have the power to make jaws drop. But what really made him sparkle wasn’t his bling, it was his 24-carat charisma, as the video footage of “Mr. Entertainment” on endless loop in the gift shop shows. And with an adult admission price of only $12.50, this museum is one of the best bargains in town. www.liberace.org

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SHOPPING

Virtually every designer, department store, high-end boutique (including InterMix, Scoop) and Gap-style chain is represented here. A few more novel options.

Highbrow

PERSONAL SHOPPERS

Got some winnings to blow but no time or taste? Neiman Marcus and Saks Fifth Avenue go above and beyond for visitors and locals with money to spend on unique, hand-picked items. FAO Schwarz offers similar assistance for your Richie Rich. The service at all three is free. Neiman, (800) 288-7741; Saks, (702) 940-1302; FAO, (702) 796-6500

FRUITION

An off-the-Strip boutique where streetwear from the ‘80s and ‘90s gets a second life. Specializing in reworked vintage jackets, dresses and old-school T-shirts, it’s no wonder Kanye West is a frequent customer. www.fruitionlv.com

Lowbrow

CHARLESTON ANTIQUE MALL

With 25,000 square feet worth of groovy vintage furniture, home decor, clothes and costume jewelry from the ‘50s and ‘60s, this mall is a treasure trove for wannabe Rat Packers, or plain ol’ pack rats. 307 W. Charleston Blvd., (702) 228-4783

ARMSTRONG’S EMPORIUM

“You’ll find stuff here you didn’t know you needed,” owner Floyd Armstrong says of his junk shop teeming with 50,000 layers of awesome dustiness. Amateur art, Sweet Valley High paperbacks, that commemorative Captain Kirk beer stein you threw out 10 years ago. You’ll find it here. 1230 S. Main St., (702) 366-1995

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CLUBS/BARS

The town that was built to party offers up revelry for every budget and disposition.

Highbrow

NOIR

(The Luxor)

Taking a page from exclusive L.A. bars like Hyde, the dark and sexy Noir has become the place to be seen. The bar impresses with high-end leather decor and expert mixologists serving up an A-list, sophisticated (for Vegas, anyway) crowd. Considerably more intimate than the Pure Management Group’s other Luxor club, the 26,000-square-foot LAX. No expensive “bottle service” required. Reservation essential, and drop names if you’ve got ‘em. (702) 262-5257

TRYST

(The Wynn)

For sheer spectacle, few clubs on the Strip can match the red-velvet-lined Tryst, which packs in well over 1,300 on weekend nights. The piece de resistance? A dazzling 94-foot waterfall -- which might even distract you from the scantily clad crowd. While the DJ lineup isn’t as strong as competitors Tao and Pure, the decor alone makes it a destination club without peer. (702) 770-7000

Lowbrow

TOBY KEITH’S I LOVE THIS BAR & GRILL

(Harrah’s)

Adorned with bucket loads of Toby-ana, this crisply modern sports bar offers good, live country music five nights a week and, most impressively, free shots every time the bar’s title song is played -- which is often. Hit the gift shop and pick up some Toby Keith seasoned salt. www.harrahs.com

BEAUTY BAR

Vegas’ Beauty Bar one-ups its siblings in L.A. and San Diego by defiling its own mission: There’s little beautiful about the place. Imagine L.A.’s the Smell minus the vegans and on a half-hearted Godard kick. www.beautybar.com

DOUBLE DOWN

In Vegas, there’s genuine artifice and artificial artifice. Artificial artifice is the lobby of the Paris, where day and night are indistinguishable. Genuine artifice is this place, where tattooed lesbians and chemically preserved Hell’s Angels pound shots of the profanely named house cocktail to the beat of ear-shredding psychobilly bands. A breath of rank fresh air 24/7 -- the place never closes. www.doubledownsaloon.com

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SHOWS

Somehow Carrot Top didn’t make it onto our list of must-see shows. Does loving Celine Dion save us from accusations of extreme snobbery?

Highbrow

LOVE

(Mirage)

A marvelous pairing of some of the world’s finest acrobats and dancers going absolutely bonkers over a wonderfully three-dimensional soundtrack of surreal Beatles mash-ups and remixes. www.cirquedusoleil.com

CELINE DION

(Caesars Palace)

Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” still draws tears from all but the iciest cynics. And Vegas is no place for those buzz kills anyway. If she can win over a haggard troubadour like Elliott Smith (as she did when they sang together at the 1998 Academy Awards), you will be helpless before the sheer torrents of power-ballad earnestness in her blowout show, “A New Day,” closing Dec. 15. Missing her now is reason enough to weep. www.celinedion.com/anewday/english

HANS KLOK: THE BEAUTY OF MAGIC, FEATURING PAMELA ANDERSON

(Planet Hollywood)

The Dutch magician is justifiably one of Europe’s most respected illusionists, having mastered complex, visually astounding slights of . . . yeah, OK, you’re there to see Pam. You won’t get much of her, as she’s onstage only for a few tricks, but Klok gets to live both Kid Rock and Tommy Lee’s dreams by making her disappear. www.hanslasvegas.com

Lowbrow

BEACHER’S MADHOUSE

(the Joint at the Hard Rock)

Jeff Beacher’s monthly variety spectacle is more like a night out clubbing than an actual sit-down show. Hip-hop DJs and various MC’s (including Beacher) precede the main events, which include karaoke competitions and dance contests. Fans of Howard Stern’s raunchy humor will love it; women may end up confounded or bored by the omnipresent “sexy” dancers in the audience and on stage. Based on the crowds, Vegas could use more of Beacher’s attitude and less of those sanitized, effects-laden shows. Next show: 9 p.m. Fri., (702) 699-7844

MESMERIZED

(V Theater, Planet Hollywood)

In a nutshell, hypnotist Marc Savard puts audience members to sleep and makes them do really creepy things. Definitely pick up the DVD after the show because it’s virtually impossible to adequately describe this at once disturbing and riveting spectacle. (800) 591-6423

GREG POPOVICH’S COMEDY

PET THEATER

(Planet Hollywood)

Though dominated by a lot of fairly typical juggling and clowning around, this family-friendly show’s cast of animal rescues is still a sure bet. If seeing a fluffy orange cat pushing a terrier in a baby carriage doesn’t inspire some kind of reaction, you’re just dead inside. www.planethollywood.com

LITTLE LEGENDS

(Harmony Theater

at Krave)

Simply put, little people impersonate a bevy of music’s superstars (and Milli Vanilli). If you think it’s just novelty, though, think again. The twins who take on Michael Jackson and Terra Jole, who belts out numbers by Alanis and Madonna (among others), are knockouts. A bit long on the snarky, standard-sized host, but even he grew on us.

(702) 836-0836