Sex kitten in a cemetery; a call girl you can love

Those who act quickly can talk about: “Barbarella.” The sci-fi sex romp screens tonight at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Relive Jane Fonda getting naked in zero gravity. They just don’t make camp like this anymore, although we hear Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan are still trying. (Today)

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We can’t stop talking about: Showtime’s “Secret Diary of a Call Girl.” Can our heroine, Belle (Billie Piper), TV’s top East End escort, take it to the next level? In the season finale, she’ll meet an American film producer who encourages her to take her high-end act even higher by joining an elite international squad of courtesans. She’ll first have to overcome “the interview.” (Monday)

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You don’t need to understand French to talk about: Carla Bruni’s new disc “Comme si de Rien N’Etait.” She had us at “Quelqu’un M’a Dit.” The 40-year-old, Italian-born singer’s latest is a collection of love songs for her main man, husband and French President Nicolas Sarkozy. Play this in lieu of lighting candles. (Tuesday)

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The wait is over and you can resume talking about: “Smash Lab.” It’s exactly what the title implies. A team of maverick engineers goes around smashing, crashing and blowing things up in the name of science. In the second season premiere of the Discovery Channel gem, they send cars over cliffs to, you know, make better cliff-diving cars. You never know when one might come in handy. (Tuesday)

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With any luck, everyone will talk about: “Pineapple Express.” It’s a stoner comedy and action movie all in one, so good I’m tempted to see it twice. “Twice?” you ask. Yes, twice. Still trying to wash away the memories of Ben Stiller in “Tropic Thunder.” The guy is just trying too hard now. (Wednesday)

-- Denise Martin