Jones hears only cheers but so little has changed

PHOENIX -- It was a gut-wrenching decision, but I agreed to take a family vacation again, passing on the RV for long airplane rides, which explains why I’m with the Dodgers now in serious need of comic relief -- the vacation’s not supposed to end until next week.

And you can just imagine how happy Andruw Jones & his fellow stiffs were to see me at Chase Field.

I’m not one for hugging athletes, so I appreciate the fact Jones didn’t throw himself at me, knowing there’s a good chance he’d have missed and how embarrassing would that have been?

He said he’s different now, so I looked it up, but he still appears to be a slug with a bat.

“I love the fans,” he said, a few months after saying he didn’t care what the fans had to say. “I changed my mind.”

The fans continue to boo Jones in Dodger Stadium, but he said, “with boos you get cheers.”

Now I sure hope he hasn’t started drinking to raise his spirits, as if that’s going to solve anything -- relieved when he cleared up any misconception.

“When I hear the fans boo, I hear cheers,” he said. “I hear the fans who are pushing for me.”

I can’t imagine anyone in Dodger Stadium rooting for Jones, especially after striking out five times in one game recently, but he said, “I hear what I hear.”

I mentioned this to Joe Torre, and he said, “those cheers are coming from the dugout.”

Once the laughter subsided, Torre said, “It’s nice to know the guy dressing next to you is pulling for you.”

I reminded Torre that Jeff Kent is dressing next to Jones here, and he probably didn’t even say hello to the guy when they returned to work Friday.

Sixty-seven games to go, the Dodgers one game out of first behind the Diamondbacks, who are just as inept as our heroes, and if Jones does anything, the Dodgers probably win the division going away.

“I like what I see in batting practice,” Torre said, and allowing Larry Bowa to work as designated pitcher for Jones isn’t an idea any crazier than awarding home-field advantage in the World Series to the winner of the All-Star game.

Instead, the Dodgers are calling on minor league roving hitting instructor Jeff Pentland to help. Pentland worked with Jones in Las Vegas, and Torre said, “Jones didn’t miss a pitch he swung at.”

And so with Pentland, a.k.a. the rabbit’s foot, now in Arizona, Jones stepped up in the first against a struggling Arizona pitcher already rocked for three runs, and struck out.

He now has 33 more strikeouts than hits, GM Ned Colletti, who has apparently gone into hiding, probably curled up in a ball and wailing somewhere.

Holy Colletti, did I mention the Dodgers just shut down Jason Schmidt again with a sore arm?

Third inning, Nomar Garciaparra hits a 416-foot home run and then Jones strikes out. This keeps up and Pentland will be roving the minors again.

What a disaster. The Dodgers need every win to advance to the playoffs, and Torre says Jason Johnson will start Tuesday’s game. Jason who?

“He’s pitched for several major league teams,” Torre said.

That means he has bounced around because he’s no good, and the Dodgers are going to pitch someone knowing he’s no good with a division title up for grabs.

Did I mention that bounce-around Johnson just entered the game, the first batter hitting a triple off of him?

Fresh-start time, bottom of the fifth and the Dodgers replace Jones with Delwyn Young. Flu-like symptoms, the Dodgers announce, and I presume it’s Jones who feels sick to his stomach, not the Dodgers.

Things are looking up, though, on a pace to strike out five times again, Jones makes sure it doesn’t happen.

TALKED AT length to Garciaparra before the game, which explains his two home runs, doubling his total for the season. He said he still has a lot to offer the Dodgers, and then went out and proved it.

TALKED TO Matt Kemp at length, and he said he still has a lot to learn and that he really does want to get better.

I’m getting this queasy feeling, though, the Dodgers are thinking about trading Kemp. It’s the wrong move, so that makes it more likely they will do it.

By the way, Kemp just hit a home run to tie the score.

ARIZONA IS so bad, the Dodgers went into extra innings with a chance to win. I’m off vacation, but that doesn’t mean working overtime.

TRIED TO watch the All-Star game at an Outback Steakhouse bar in Brea. Obviously I took it hard when no Dodgers were voted in as starters. I asked the manager to turn up the sound, but she said “corporate doesn’t allow it.” Across the bar, on the front of their bar computer, the screen saver read: “No rules. Just right.”

I NOTICED Gary Matthews, who has been pouting since the arrival of Torii Hunter, is no longer playing much. Maybe he really didn’t use the HGH he ordered.

I READ and heard all the stuff being written and said about the Clippers, Brand, Dunleavy, Falk and Sterling while away -- amazed at the high level of ignorance.

Brand, as classy an athlete as L.A. has known and for a long period of time, overnight became a jerk, while everyone took what the Clippers had to say as gospel.

Just goes to show you the people who made it sound as if they knew Brand all those years never really did, quick to challenge his character as if they really had any idea what they were writing or talking about.

Brand was the best the Clippers had, and instead of knocking on his door and paying him like the best they had, they tried to negotiate. Just business, of course, the Clippers eventually getting a lesson in business.

THANKS TO all those who e-mailed to let me know Salma Hayek is available once again, the news, though, coming on the same day the wife celebrated yet another birthday -- as if I needed a reminder she’s still my old lady.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.