The pale history of white rappers

Who can really say who the first white rapper was? But certainly the Beastie Boys were the first to shoot to fame -- and fundamentally alter the genre -- with 1986’s “Licensed to Ill,” in which hip-hop was forced to confront questions of race, audience and inflatable phalluses.

In the wake of those original frat-rappers, music labels throughout the late 1980s and early 1990s sporadically attempted to cash in on melanin-light lyricists, with House of Pain, Vanilla Ice and Marky Mark earning equal parts success and scorn, and only the interracial 3rd Bass achieving modest critical respectability.

The rise of hard-core East Coast rap and Vanilla Ice’s subsequent career meltdown sent white rappers into the wilderness for the majority of the Clinton years, an underground incubatory period that wound up producing some of the sub-genre’s leading lights, including sizable percentages of talent on independent labels Rhymesayers, Def Jux and Anticon.

With the commercial success of one-time subterranean sensation Eminem and the concomitant rap-rock phenomenon -- think Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park -- white rappers saw newfound interest from major labels around the fin de siecle, with only Timbaland protege Bubba Sparxxx, a Southern rapper, achieving notable success. But now with Eminem’s ballyhooed return; the rise of Asher Roth and his hit “I Love College”; the re-issue of Company Flow’s groundbreaking album, “Funcrusher Plus”; and even the Lonely Island’s joke-rap parodies, 2009 is shaping up to be the year of the white rapper. Here’s a chronicle of the milestones that led us here -- bring your sunblock.

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1981: The Blondie release “Rapture,” with Deborah Harry’s raps, is the first to top the Billboard charts. Sixteen years later, KRS-One interpolates it for “Step Into a World (Rapture’s Delight),” finally allowing hard-core rap fans to admit they like Blondie.

1986: Lower Manhattan punks cum rappers the Beastie Boys release the multiplatinum “License to Ill.” Frat boys discover that hip-hop can be more than “The Super Bowl Shuffle.”

1989: 3rd Bass drops the critically lauded, Def Jam-released “Cactus Album,” irrevocably proving that more than three white people can rap.

1990: Vanilla Ice releases “Ice Ice Baby,” appears in Madonna’s “Sex” book and films “Cool as Ice,” quashing any hopes for white rappers to be taken seriously.

1991: Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch try anyway, releasing “Good Vibrations.” Few mourn Mark Wahlberg’s decision to start an acting career shortly thereafter.

1997: Led by rapper El-P, Company Flow drops the classic “Funcrusher Plus,” in the process launching the underground rap movement.

1998-2000: Heyday of the rap-rock movement sees Kid Rock, Limp Bizkit, Papa Roach, et al., embarrass hip-hop fans of all colors and creeds.

1999: Under the aegis of Dr. Dre, Eminem releases “The Slim Shady LP.” Crossing over with mainstream white America in unprecedented fashion, Marshall Mathers makes everyone forget about Vanilla Ice.

2001: Alternative rapper Aesop Rock releases seminal anti-work opus “Labor Days.”

2002-03: Widely hailed as the British Eminem, the Streets releases “Original Pirate Material.” Most Americans prefer “Pirates of the Caribbean.”

2005: Paul Wall releases “The People’s Champ,” failing to specify that by “the People,” he merely meant Houston.

2006: Kevin Federline releases “Playing With Fire,” suddenly making everyone remember Vanilla Ice again.

2007: Hosted by MC Serch of 3rd Bass, VH1 airs “The (White) Rapper Show.” It is not renewed.

2009: Asher Roth drops “Asleep in the Bread Aisle,” a hybrid of the Beastie Boys’ frat-rap and Vampire Weekend’s leisure-class laissez faire, minus the great songs.

After a half-decade hiatus, Eminem returns with “Relapse.”

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