Probably no chance Cavaliers will go 0-82

Mike Bresnahan covers the Lakers for The Times and will tie up loose ends each week on the day of his self-designated “Lakers game of the week.” Tonight, the Lakers play host to Dallas at Staples Center.

Goodbye, Cleveland?

Maybe I won’t be spending much time in Cleveland in June after all, which, believe me, isn’t a bad thing.

Picked by plenty to meet the Lakers in June, the Cavaliers are 0-2, with a home loss to Boston, a road loss in Toronto and a hometown newspaper headline that read, “No rhythm, no wins.”

At least there are still the Browns! OK, maybe not.

Perfume would help too

Has Kenny Smith become funnier than Charles Barkley on TNT?

He thinks the Lakers will win 20 of their first 21 games.

“If they aren’t 20-1 they’re flirting with 20-1,” Smith said. “They gave 20-1 flowers and candy.”

Q&A; of the day

Question: Do any of the players look noticeably different? For instance, it appeared to me that Andrew Bynum looked much leaner. I was curious if Kobe Bryant looked any different [to you]. It interests me how they change their approach coming into a new season.

-- Brian Pohl, New York

Answer: Thanks for asking, Brian. As a matter of fact, there are some noticeable differences from last season. In fact, I’ve dropped 20 pounds since June!

It’s brutal being on the road all the time, what with the hectic travel schedule and crummy arena food, so it’s easy to let yourself slip. But, hey, once the Lakers’ season ended, mine began. I even ran a 10K earlier this month . . . and didn’t need to go to the hospital. Here’s to being back in the mid-180s!!

And yeah, Bynum dropped a few pounds and Kobe looks good too.

Dr. Bresnahan

The Lakers don’t play on Halloween, which is cool, though I’m kind of a creature of habit: I wear the same costume every year.

Boring, I know, but I went as a karate guy for 10 years in a row, only because I took lessons for a month before quitting but got to keep the uniform and had to find some way to monetize the enormous deposit I coughed up to the dojo.

I’m now going as a doctor, a tradition that started a few years ago when an ex-girlfriend dressed up as a hot nurse and wanted me to accompany her to a party. We got in a huge fight that night and broke up a few days later, and I was miserable for weeks. On second thought, I need to find a new costume.

Final thought

Not as if they needed the help for a quick start, but the Lakers were somehow scheduled to play 17 of their first 21 games at Staples Center.

They will be 2-0 tonight after beating Dallas, which suffered a weird home loss to Washington on opening night. Mark Cuban can’t be thrilled.

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mike.bresnahan@latimes.com

twitter.com/Mike_Bresnahan