If Auburn loses, everybody wins

Bear, if you’re up there, “Mama’s calling” again.

When you coached at Kentucky in the 1940s and quarterback George Blanda first caught a glimpse of you, he said, “This must be what God looks like.”

It’s time to warble another hymn.

This is about Alabama and Auburn. It’s about Friday, the 75th Iron Bowl, football’s top rivalry in years the Michigan- Ohio State winner determines whether Wisconsin or Michigan State goes to the Rose Bowl.

Bear, college football needs Alabama to beat Auburn.

Roll Tide.

This is nothing against Auburn and its 11-0 season and its spectacular quarterback, Cam Newton.

This is about preventing a nightmare.

Let’s say Auburn beats Alabama and then South Carolina on Dec. 4 to earn a trip to the Bowl Championship Series title game. Then, on, say, Dec. 14, the NCAA rules Newton ineligible as a result of its pay-for-play investigation.

What then?

Rumors have been swirling for a month that Newton’s father, Cecil, demanded money from Mississippi State in return for his son’s services. Cam, of course, ended up choosing Auburn instead.

No one has connected Cam or Auburn to any wrongdoing, and he has continued to play as the investigation continues.

I know the motto in college football is “win first, ask questions later,” but does the sport really need another Reggie Bush? USC, pending NCAA appeal, is going to vacate its 2004 title in connection with sanctions levied against the program.

Questions about an Auburn national title — as they did with USC — might resonate for years. Even if nothing is proved in the Newton case, some people will never believe he’s innocent.

Alabama can do everyone outside War Eagle Nation a favor by whipping the Tigers on Friday in Tuscaloosa.

Removing Auburn might spare us angst — and an asterisk — while also paving the way for Boise State or Texas Christian to earn a championship game berth.

This would be a major breakthrough for a sport that has been accused of being rigged against the little schools. It wouldn’t dampen screams for a playoff, and that’s fine. But proving it’s possible for Boise State or TCU to earn a title shot might get Congress off college football’s back.

Alabama beating Auburn would solve other problems too.

For example, if Auburn and Oregon end up in the national title game, the Rose Bowl can’t take Stanford, even at 11-1.

That spot this year has to go to the highest-ranking “non-AQ” — Boise State or TCU.

If Auburn loses, though, and, say, Boise State ends up in the title game, the Rose Bowl is off the hook and could take Stanford.

But what then would happen to undefeated TCU? Would the 12-0 Horned Frogs get squeezed out of a BCS bowl game?

Bear, you can help us with that one too, by helping Arkansas beat Louisiana State on Saturday in Little Rock.

Everyone knows you were born in Arkansas and were “ Paul William Bryant” until you wrestled that bear and ended up with your nickname.

An Arkansas win puts a second loss on LSU and eliminates the Tigers from at-large BCS consideration.

If that happens, and Stanford ends up No. 4 in the final BCS standings, the Cardinal is guaranteed a BCS bowl berth.

In that scenario, the Rose Bowl might take undefeated TCU, knowing that Stanford would have to be taken by either the Sugar or Orange bowls (the Fiesta this year is resigned to hosting the Big East and Big 12 champions).

Bear, you were 19-6 against Auburn, so you know what this is all about.

The Alabama-Auburn rivalry helped create Bear Bryant. You were coaching the Junction Boys at Texas A&M in 1957, the year Auburn beat Alabama, 40-0.

You didn’t want to leave College Station, but you played at Alabama and felt you had no choice but to leave. “Mama called,” you said.

You won six national titles at Alabama, and Auburn hasn’t won one since …1957.

No one needled Auburn better than you, Bear. The best story was about you calling Auburn’s offices at 6 a.m. and wondering why no one picked up the phone.

“What the hell’s the matter with you people down there?” you said. “Don’t y’all take your football seriously?”

There is nothing as serious as Alabama-Auburn. The series was discontinued for four decades after 1907 because of a squabble over … what? You still don’t have your stories straight.

Auburn’s game notes this week contend that it was partly over expenses. Auburn wanted to bring 22 players to the game and pay them each $3.50 per diem. Alabama wanted 20 players and $3.

However, Alabama’s notes say the Crimson Tide demanded $2 per day for 20 players.

The series resumed in 1948 and has been raging ever since.

“Someone in this game will go down in history for a play or a series of plays,” Auburn Coach Gene Chizik said this week.

Alabama linebacker Dont’a Hightower said it’s all about “who can say they won.”

Bear, you once said you’d rather beat Auburn once than Texas 10 times.

You might have gone too far calling Auburn a “cow town,” before the 1972 game in which the Tigers blocked two fourth-quarter punts to pull off a 17-16 win.

That chant is etched in lore: “Punt, ‘Bama, Punt!”

But that was a long time ago.

Alabama is the defending national champion, trying to prevent Auburn from reliving 1957 — a year, by the way, the school was on NCAA probation.

Alabama has won 20 straight games at Bryant-Denny Stadium and, two years ago in Tuscaloosa, beat Auburn 36-0.

An Alabama repeat of that, at home, would be sweet.

chris.dufresne@latimes.com