I didn’t think it could be done. But in Season 3 of the web series “Epic Rap Battles of History,” Stephen King and Edgar Allan Poe throw down. And it works.
Of course, Poe’s poem “The Raven” is a good starting point, an easily adaptible text. Here’s the “ERBoH” version of Poe’s rap boast:
Once upon a midnight dreary
As I spit this weak and weary
I will choke this joker
With a trochee while his cheeks are teary
But y’all don’t hear me
All should fear me
I’ll forever be better
You’ll never be near me
Your books are as eerie
As Beverly Cleary.
And so on.
Poe is not around to comment on his portrayal as a horror writer rap superstar, but Stephen King is. In fact, today marks the publication of his latest novel, the hard-boiled mystery “Mr. Mercedes.”
And King noticed. “Good news/bad news kind of thing,” he tweeted Monday. “MR. MERCEDES comes out tomorrow, but I think Poe shut me down in the rap contest. :-(“