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Late-night TV hosts to Andrew Cuomo: ‘Don’t let the door hit you ... on the way out’

Stephen Colbert poses in a blue suit, white shirt and red tie
“Late Show” host Stephen Colbert attends the CBS Network 2018 Upfront at in New York.
(Andy Kropa / Invision)

Late-night TV hosts Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon were among the many New Yorkers who welcomed the resignation of Gov. Andrew Cuomo on Tuesday after an investigation concluded that the disgraced politician sexually harassed several women.

The comedians, all of whom tape their shows in the Big Apple, promptly skewered Cuomo upon his impending exit, which will take effect 14 days after Tuesday’s announcement.

“I’m sorry, but is this really a two-week-notice type of situation?” Fallon quipped on “The Tonight Show.” “It’s gonna be tough for Cuomo. With a track record like this, his only future is either president or Supreme Court justice.”

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Gov. Andrew Cuomo had been under pressure since the Aug. 3 report concluded he had sexually harassed women. Even President Biden urged him to resign.

Cuomo’s departure comes one week after a damning probe conducted by the state’s attorney general accused the outgoing governor of subjecting women to unwanted advances — including groping, kissing and lewd comments — as well as retaliation.

Shortly after the attorney general released the report, Cuomo denied the allegations and claimed he “never touched anyone inappropriately or made inappropriate sexual advances.”

In response to a state trooper who accused him of running his hand or fingers across her stomach and back without her consent, Cuomo attempted to justify his actions Tuesday by saying he would often greet members of his security detail with “a grip of the arm, a pat on the face, a touch on the stomach, a slap on the back.”

“He really tried to slip in that touch on the stomach, as if it’s all the same,” Colbert said on “The Late Show.” “‘I would often pat them on the back, stroke them on the groin. Perhaps a friendly suck on the toe.’”

An investigation into Cuomo found he sexually harassed some current and former state government employees. Cuomo has denied touching anyone inappropriately.

On “Late Night,” Meyers and his fellow “Saturday Night Live” alum Amy Poehler dissected Cuomo’s resignation speech line by line.

“I don’t like anybody touching my face,” Meyers mused.

“Yeah,” Poehler agreed. “The only person allowed to pat my face is my plastic surgeon.”

While delivering his opening monologue at Manhattan’s Ed Sullivan Theater, Colbert summed up the late-night circuit’s thoughts on Cuomo’s withdrawal succinctly with a cold farewell to the governor — soon to be succeeded by the state’s first female leader, current Democratic Lt. Gov. Kathy Hochul.

“Don’t let the door hit you on the butt on the way out,” Colbert said. “But if it does, that door should also resign.”


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